Love & War
by rebeccabraxton
Summary: Losing something or someone you love is hard but finding that thing again may prove harder.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all, so I decided to write a new story, I have it all planned out and am very excited to hear your thoughts , there is a fair bit of drama and angst , this first chapter is like an introduction no talking just thoughts , this is my new CHAX fanfic called love and war…**

**Hope you enjoy, leave me your thoughts and ideas in a review or pm, READ+REVIEW**

**Enjoy reading**

It had been 1 week, 7 days , 168 hours, 10,080 minutes and 604,800 seconds since my wedding , since my husband fell at my feet in a pool of his own blood , since he went into a coma and since I saw his beautiful green eyes that pierce through me every time his gaze meets mine.

Just like every morning for the past week I walked into the room that held the man I loved dignity , life , heart and soul. Every thing good in my life has been with brax , he healed the scars my past left me with and gave me memories I will treasure until I die.

I watch his heart rate and hold his hand , letting a tear roll down my cheek , I love brax , his the love of my life , I keep saying its going to be ok , im trying to give hope when I'm losing faith myself, my mind is in overdrive thinking if im going to hear the words I Love You again.

You see if brax never wakes I'll blame myself because the bullet was meant for me , not brax , he made a sacrifice that may have cost him everything , his life , my wedding dress is bloodshot red with mine and braxes blood smudged all over , a horrible memory of a very special day that was supposed to end with love and a night of passion and memories not blood and heartbreak not knowing what your future holds.

**Ok so that was really short and your wondering why its so short,I worked on this in my spare time for fun not to put on and I kinda fell in love with it so I can guarantee it gets much better and longer , let me know what you think because for me the first 3 chapters are themost important….**

**Hope you enjoyed it , please read and review **


	2. a few flashbacks

**Ok , so I wasn't to happy with the last chapter, didn't have that wow factor in my opinion so I wrote a hand made one and it was much better so this is chapter 2 updated version, hope you all enjoy, don't forget to read and review…**

Love and war chapter two – flashbacks updated

I'm sitting here thinking about all the wasted time , we started off with cells , arrests , bullets , stab wounds ,arrests , kidnapps , enemies and stalkers to moonlit proposals, shopping , romantic dates , family dinners and pure happiness. I mean all weddings have a tiny drama like the bride being slightly late or losing your lipstick , not your worst enemy aiming to shoot you and your husband jumps in front of a bullet. I ran my fingers over my wedding and engagement rings and remembered my fairytail wedding proposal…..

**FLASHBACK**

Brax asked me on a date, and as usual I said yes, though I had a feeling something good was going to happen, life changing. brax told me to dress up so I wore my short forever new cream waterfall dress, off white lace pumps, I was wearing my ring necklace brax got for my 30th birthday , my hair was loosly curled and my makeup was elegant not to much, what I didn't understand was brax was wearing a suit, A SUIT , and that rarely ever happens. He'd taken me to the place we first met , the secluded cliffs of summer bay , and it made me laugh thinking about the first thing brax said to me "you look a lot like my first wife" me not catching on asked how many he'd had and he replied none. For a main we had fettuccini bolognase and for dessert we had a chocolate , it was muddy , rich and sweet. We had agreed to a walk on the beach , so I stood up and so did brax, I started to walk but braxes arm tugged me back slightly, I turned and stared at him, his green eyes piercing through mine, he pulled on my arm gently bringing us closer together , his palms were sweating and he looked nervous.

"brax what's going on?" I questioned "are you going to break up with me"

"no god no, charlie your smart , funny, feisty , beautiful , sexy and scary at times, I love you for being you and I cant imagine my life without you…. Your it… you're the one" a lump formed in braxes throat, charlies hand flew over her mouth and her eyes glazed over when brax dropped onto one knee and a pulled out a beautiful white gold split shank ring…

"charlotte may buckton, will you marry me?" brax asked trying to stop his shaking hands from shaking , bec was speechless , she tried to speak but no words came out just lone tears , but she couldn't wait any longer, she nodded her head vigorously and let out a small giggle "yes, of course I'll marry you" and with that a grin broke out on braxes face and he pushed the ring up her right ring finger , an pulled her down for a slow passionate kiss , the moonlight shining on them like a fairytale…

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Tears were pouring down charlies face, she couldn't control it, her hand gripped onto braxes hand tightr than ever "I cant lose you brax, I don't know what I'd do, I think id lose myself" you could hear the fear laced in the voice "you have to wake up brax, I need you" charlie sobbed and climbed onto braxes hospital bed and cried onto his chest , the cries echoed through the room. She didn't realize the presence of her daughter ruby, who was silently sobbing , she hated seeing her mother so broken and lost, her face was almost and paler and lifeless then braxes. She hadn't slept in days and even if she did, she would wake up asking for brax or crying , everyone knew if brax didn't make it charlie was good as gone.

Half an hour later charlie started to stir, it was something, she woke up asking for brax as usual , but was shocked to see her daughter ruby, best friend Bianca and 2 brother in laws heath and casey..

"what are you doing here" charlie asked

"taking care of you , charlie have you even slept,?" ruby asked worried by the answer

" a little" charlie muttered

"when was the last time you had a shower or ate charlz" Bianca added and charlie shrugged knowing they were right and stood up "fine" charlie grunted and gave brax a peck on the cheek "love you" she whispered "call me if anything changes" she spoke sternly to casey and heath and they nodded

When charlie and Bianca arrived at charlies place and walked through the door she let an unexpected tear roll down her cheek. She walked up the stairs and into her and braxes ensuit, the smell of braxes cologne lingered in the room, charlie stood and took in the scent leaning on the sink. She stripped her clothes and jumped into the shower ( not literally jumping) letting the warmness of the water sink in , she closed her eyes to stop the tears falling but that only did what she didn't want, every flashback she didn't want to see flashed between her eyes , her blood smudged wedding dress, the gun , braxes lifeless body , her cries and pleas echoed in her mind collapsing onto the wall she slid down and sobbed, every fear , tears that threatened to fall ,every feeling an emotion just broke out causing charlie to cries and sob louder than ever , her cries echoed , sending shivers down her spine….

**I like this chapter lots more than the other one but you can make that decision , sorry if you got mixed up, hope you enjoyed it and please read and review , feedback, if it was emotional, to short , to long? So just review me any advice or anything you would like me to take on board ,if you want to see the ring or any outfits , the wedding dress ect: just let me know and I'll pm it to you, anyways hope you enjoyed and once again don't forget to read and review**


	3. vows , tears and confessions

**Hope you enjoy, don't forget to read and review**

**2 DAYS LATER**

"so our wedding photos and video arrived yesterday , they were bloody awesome , you need to wake up so you can see how amazingly sexy you looked in a suit" Charlie sighed , all she had done were tell storys , only a few times had she let out her true feelings , she didn't need to talk to anyone, the one person who could help her was the one who couldn't. Everything was still in slow motion from charlies view , the gun, bullets ,her dress , the blood , everything would flash through her mind slowly making sure she saw every detail of the scene, her train of thoughts were interrupted when doctor walker pulled a chair out and sat down. For the past 10 days he had a gloomy look on his face , today was no different.

"charlie, we need to talk" Doctor walker said, he knew that what he was about to suggest would be a hard pill to swallow , charlie still hadn't really taken any notice of what was going on. "We need to consider whether we are going to consider with the life support or take the next step" charlies head snapped up, she'd been in this hospital long enough to know what the next step was. "What" charlie snapped "brax cant stay like this forever , the damage to his brain is irreversible , he cant breath on his own" charlie exhaled deeply trying to keep her temper in check "your asking me to kill my husband" charlie whispered loudly , "charlie , what you need to understand is your not taking braxes life , Technically brax died when his brain ceased to function , all you'll be doing is letting him go with dignity" Sid chose his words carefully knowing charlies temper was extremely fierce, "but is it possible for him to wake up?" The desperation in charlies voice didn't go unnoticed "It would be a miracle , if he woke up, his chances have dropped by the day from 25% to 5%" Sid was holding back his own tears, he hated giving people he knew news like this, as charlie let out a whimper "I'm sorry charlie, I wish there was more I could do" he spoke leaving charlie, he knew she needed privacy, Once the door shut, the façade came crashing down, She had to face it, her life was never going to be the same, her hand tangled into braxes , as she remembered walking down the aisle 10 days ago, even though it felt like yesterday.

**FLASHBACK…**

CHARLIES POV

My 4 bridesmaids were Hayley , Martha,ruby and Bianca , Bianca being her Maid of honour. They made there way down my staircase ,I stared at them in absolute awe. There dresses were light blue with a diamante bordered v-neckline, the floor-length blue chiffon just swayed along the carpet, slightly showing there silver pumps, with leather upper and sweeping straps with encrusted stones , a 5 inch heel and 1 ¼ inch platform. There hair was done in a intertwined waterfall braid with loose curls , with stylish , simple but elegant makeup done by Marilyn.

45 minutes later, I came down the stairs and their jaws dropped to the ground , it was there turns to look at me in awe. My dress was a satin lace mermaid dress with a sweetheart neckline beaded detail all along the dress and a sweep train at the back that added elegance and style to the dress .My heels were made by Chinese laundry , it had a gorgeous pearl lace upper and a dainty bow at the vamp. The makeup was gorgeous , brown shimmery eye shadow was done as a Smokey eye , the blush was a peachy pink colour and my lipstick was done as a light pink .Marilyn curled my hair then pulled it up into a updo bun like it would look in a fairytale , only this was a real fairytale."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Charlie managed to smile even though there were tears streaming down her cheeks, "you had to see the girls faces when I walked down the staircase , it was like they'd seen Jennifer Anniston or kate Hudson" charlie giggled then sighed "im not letting them take you away from me, im not listening to the doctors , they don't know everything, I need you to prove that miracles can happen, I need you to keep those promises you made.

**FLASHBACK**

I peered out of the window as the limo came to a standstill, the doors were locked tight so nobody could peek. The girls gently got out of the car , careful not to ruin their dresses then turned to me excited as ever. "ready charlz" ruby asked "Ready as I'll ever be" I replied and took rubys hand for support while getting out.

We had lined up in front of the church doors waiting for the doors to open , and once they did ruby walked in smiling when she saw the guys all there in one piece, followed by Hayley,ruby then finally Bianca. Once the 3 girls walked in the guests stood up and stared at me in awe .my smile glowed and my excitement was bubbling up inside me ready to burst at any moment .

When brax saw charlie , his excitement got the better of him, his heart was racing immensely. There eyes locked and everyone in the church could see the love these two shared wasn't normal.

My grin had grown as my eyes locked with braxes, my heart was racing and I could tell braxes was to , I wasn't nervous, I was excited yet calm, knowing that this was right, brax was the one for her.

Braxes eyes were shining , he'd seen charlie many times before and in everything she looked beautiful , but today was different, she didn't look beautiful today, she looked like an angel from heaven. Once charlie finally got to the alter , ruby kissed her cheek glancing at brax before nodding, brax did the same then quickly found his way to charlies eyes , "you look beautiful" brax whispered to me while we joined hands "you don't scrub up to bad yourself" I replied

Everyone was seated and were all eager for the ceremonie to begin.

"Do you, Darryl promise to be a loving friend and partner in this marriage, to talk and to listen, to trust and appreciate, to respect and cherish charlottes uniqueness? Do you promise to support, comfort, and strengthen her through life's joys and sorrows? Do you promise to share hopes and dreams as you build your lives together, and to grow with charlotte in mind? Will you strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor, filled with peace, happiness, and love? Do you promise to always be open and honest with charlotte, and cherish her for as long as you both shall live?" the preacher started

"I do" brax answered confidently

"Do you, charlotte promise to be a loving friend and partner in marriage, to talk and to listen, to trust and appreciate, to respect and cherish Darryls uniqueness? Do you promise to support, comfort, and strengthen him through life's joys and sorrows? Do you promise to share hopes and dreams as you build your lives together, and to grow with Darryl in mind? Will you strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor, filled with peace, happiness, and love? Do you promise to always be open and honest with Darryl, and cherish him for as long as you both shall live?" the preacher once again said

"I do" charlie replied

"the bride and groom have written their own vows" the preacher ended and gave brax a nod, brax turned around and pushed the ring halfway up charlies left ring finger.

"Charlotte May Buckton" brax begun

"the first time I saw you we were still in school, though I know for a fact I didn't speak to you until year 12, I knew you were the one for me, without speaking to you, without love tests I knew I'd fallen hard for you. You made me into a better person and I love you for it and who I am when I'm with you. Charlz I honestly cannot imagine my life without you in it, and as cheesy as it may sound its because your it, your my other half." Charlies eyes were welling up at braxes words and brax choked on his words. "this ring and these words are only telling the world how much I love you, but these words still cannot express how much I love you. Today in front of all our friends and family I promise to love you unconditionally and without hesitation. I vow to love you, encourage you, trust you, and respect you. As a family, we will create a home filled with learning, laughter, and compassion. I promise to work with you to foster and cherish a relationship of equality knowing that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. Today, I choose you to be my husband/wife. I accept you as you are, and I offer myself in return. I will care for you, stand beside you, and share with you all of life's adversities and all of its joys from this day forward, and all the days of my life." Brax let a lingering tear roll down his cheek as h pushed the ring up the rest of charlies finger. "this ring is a symbol of my love to you that I will forever love , protect and cherish"

Everyone in the church was either clearing their throats , sniffing away there tears or wiping there eyes as tears fell at braxes words , charlie pursed her lips together and tilted her head to the side in a bid to stop the tears falling but it didn't work, a tear rolled down her cheek and brax caught it with his thumb. Charlie took a shaky breath before turning and taking the ring from biancas hand, she pushed his ring halfway up his left ring finger and I gave him a killer smile.

"Darryl James Braxton" charlie began

"I never thought my life would be as perfect as it is now, I didn't know I would get married because your different to every other guy out there, theirs something special about you brax that makes you unique. Darryl in 8 years nearly every childhood dream i had has come true, when you came into my life I felt immortal , you healed all the scars my past left me with and gave me memories instead which I'll be forever grateful for. I am only standing here as the person I am today because you came into my life, and despite every obstacle we've faced you've stuck by me." Charlies voice was shaky, everyone in the church was trying to wipe away their tears , the girls trying hard not to ruin their makeup. " I promise you that I will laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement. Together, let us build a home filled with learning, laughter and light, shared freely with all who may live there. I promise I take you as you are , loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will celebrate your triumphs and mourn your losses as though they were my own. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years and all that life may bring us. Let us be partners, friends and lovers, today and all of the days that follow." Charlie pushed the ring up the rest of braxes finger and continued on "with this ring I promise to be forever truthful and faithful to you , to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, to spill your heart to, to laugh when you laugh even at the dumbest things and to stand by you no matter what life may throw our way, your the love of my life brax "everybody was crying, even Heath was crying , whilst the girls in order to save there make up ha to sniff there tears away.

"With all the power invested in me , I pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride" charlie and braxes grins widened dangerously as brax leant down and kissed charlie passionately , her hands snaked around his neck. "I love you charlotte Braxton" brax whispered as his forehead was leaning on charlies while everyone was clapping "I love you to Darryl Braxton"

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Tears were streaming down charlies cheeks remembering the promises her and brax had made that day. "You promised brax, I need you to wake up, so we can travel the world" charlie added then it hit her how stupid it sounded.

"Travel the world?" heath walked into the room grinning obviously amused by charlies thoughts.

"hey heath" charlie said and turned around where heaths grin faltered into a frown , seeing the redness in the eyes and the tearstains stained onto her cheeks "what's wrong charlz?" Charlies bottom lip quivered and her eyes welled up with tears , out of no where she burst into tears , heath rushed upto her and wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest, he could feel her tears soaking through his tshirt burning his skin. "I ,I cant do it… I cant turn him off" charlie choked out , brad was nearly crying at the appearance of the girl who he thought of as the sister he never had. "what do you mean" heath was in fear and wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what charlie was about to say."his not going to wakeup" she cried out, her knees buckled and she collapsed onto the floor taking heath with her as she sobbed her heart out.

**1 hour later**

Charlie had just stopped crying , the tearstains on her cheeks had just increased and by now her eyes were bloodshot red and puffy.

"I'm so scared" heath admitted surprising charlie

"it scares me , the thought that my brother, the guy who was basically my father , the guy who's helped me my whole life and taught me everything I know, he could be… he could be dead, he'll never yell at me for getting him a speeding fine or grill me for ordering to many pizzas" heath blinked away his tears but it didn't stop others replacing them, charlie pursed her lips together and moved her hand so it lay on top of heaths.

"he's gonna get through this ,he has no choice , the doctors , the doctors they don't know everything" charlie said , hr voice was full of determination.

"how do you stay so positive?" heath asked after a minute of silence "I think about everything we've been through, everyone who's tried to hurt us , we've been through to much for him to give up now , but I never stop thinking what would happen if I lost him, because what greater punishment is thre than life when you've lost everything that made it worth living" charlie finished off her voice trembling as she bit her lip in an attempt to stop the tears.

"he wont leave you , you're his world his angel" At heaths words her mind drifted off remembering his speech at there wedding.

**Flashback**

Heath pulled out a piece of paper and begun

"charlie buckton will become charlie Braxton , brax wrote this in the 8th grade and spoke about her constantly not just in the 8th grade but the 9th grade and the 10th and 11th , then finally in our senior year brax plucked up the courage to speak to charlie on that beach an she was a bitch. When he came home that day he had the biggest grin on his face , he spoke to me and said "heath, I did it, I spoke to her" and it was at that moment I asked him if the fantasy was over and he could finally admit that charlie buckton was human afterall and his reply was "no, charlie buckton is not human , shes an angel and shes my angel , I believe in love, I believe in love at first sight, I believe love conquers all , it doesn't mean there wont be hard days or difficult things to deal with because there will be , finding that person who does it for you , and knowing they love you back, it just makes everything seem so much easier. 'charlie buckton will become charlie braxton' that was the dream and here we are 8 years later and we get to witness a dream come true"

"I always thought charlie and brax were a match made in heaven, 'like an old friend once told me Watching Brax and Charlie together is so overwhelming, what they share is more than just love and they are a lot more than soul mates. It's like they are one person, they move as one, breathe as one, live as one and love as one. Their body's mould together so perfectly almost as though they are one person who was split at birth and then rejoined as two people', the love and happiness these two share, I hope that everyone in this room can find love even if it's a fraction of what these two share" Heath said and raised his glass "to charlie and brax" and everyone stood up and repeated "to charlie and brax"

**End of flashback**

"sorry I forgot, it's a habit, you two are just so perfect together" heath exclaimed

"it's ok, I loved the speech, its just I hate that this is my fault , my past has once again caught up with me and has put the man I love in danger again" charlie sighed "what am I going to do" she blinked away her tears which she was very good at by now. "we wait brax has always like taking attention , so im guessing his trying to make you sweat" heath lightly chuckled "it doesn't feel right, none of this is right , we're all losing hope an acting like his already gone" heath added then stood up , charlie nodded "me and bi are going to have lunch at the diner , do you wanna join us?" heath offered hoping charlie would give him a civil reply. "Nah I wanna stay here" she replied "ok bye"

" I've decided that we're going to Venice for our honeymoon since we didn't get to go to Hawaii… Alright brax , I've just been sitting here telling you story's for the past 10 days keeping all my feelings bottled up when really what you need to know is how I'm feeling, but I have a reason for keeping everything bottled up, because … because im scared , really scared that'll never see your dimples again , hear your voice , i.. I don't know what'll do because I love you , and I don't want for you to think im weak, I don't need a shrink to talk to, I need you" charlie paused "and only you" she climbed onto his bed and lay by his side like she did when she was scared and needed protecting and security and that's all charlie needed, the love and security of brax.

Charlie sat in the chair holding braxes hand and reading heaths speech outloud ,hoping it would wake brax up.

"charlie buckton will become charlie Braxton , brax wrote this in the 8th grade and spoke about her constantly not just in the 8th grade but the 9th grade and the 10th and 11th , then finally in our senior year brax plucked up the courage to speak to charlie on that beach an she was a bitch. When he came home that day he had the biggest grin on his face , he spoke to me and said "heath, I did it, I spoke to her" and it was at that moment I asked him if the fantasy was over and he could finally admit that charlie buckton was human afterall and his reply was "no, charlie buckton is not human" charlie took a shaky breath and was about to continue when an unexpected voice finished the sentence, "shes an angel and shes my angel" a voice croaked and charlies head snapped up and her eyes glazed over.

"brax" she gasped in shock

**My cheeks are officially tearstained from crying during that chapter, please give me advice, if there's spelling and punctuation mistakes I'm so very sorry my keyboard still hasn't been fixed , haven't had the time, so sorry if that's affected you, Please review even if it's a word long it keeps me motivated. If you want the link to the dresses and hairstyles let me know and I'll p.m. them to you also credit to ONE TREE HILL for the speech I us for heath, let me know if you know what scene**

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	4. widened eyes

**Hi all , sorry for not updating sooner I wanted this chapter to be long and by long I mean my draft took up half a 96 page A4 book… enjoy and please don't forget to review, My 31****st**** reviewer is going to get a shoutout in my next chapter…**

**Thank you to all those who have been reviewing , its you guys that are keeping this story alive. BTW charlies dad is alive**

"I'm pretty sure that's my name" he croaked , charlie pinched herself but when she noticed that brax was awake , her mouth opened , her hand flew to her mouth, she paced a few steps then pushed him in for a hug , Tears were running down both their cheeks uncontrollably as they embraced in a strong hug , her head nested in the crook of his neck , not wanting to let go. Her tears turned into sobs of happiness , somehow their hug got stronger which seemed physically impossible but right at this moment charlie realized Miracles can happen. When they parted they rested their foreheads on oneanothers. The glow that was usually plastered on charlies face had begun to return , her hairs volume had returned, "I thought I lost you" charlie whispered her voice shaking from the tears rolling down her cheeks "10 days brax , 10 days , i..i , we thought you wwere gone" she stammered across her words the lump in her throat failing to subside. "I'll never leave you charlz" he whispered back, his emotions taking over him, his tough exterior had demolished and all you could see was vulnerability and love. The color an liveliness of these lovers faces had begun to return . "I missed you" they both managing it at the exact same time. Their eyes locked , braxes green eyes piercing through charlies bright blue eyes , brax tilted his head to the side and charlie did the same, both were hungry for one another, as they embraced in a slow but passionate kiss. Once parted brax winced causing Charlie to look at him, she could tell he was in pain, "I'm going to get a doctor" charlie said reluctantly, not wanting to get a doctor , she stood up but braxes big warm hand slightly pulled her back , "I don't need a doctor , just you" he whispered trying to convince charlie but winced causing her to race out of the room. Tears were still pouring own her cheeks, said was at the desk as she ran out, her smile adoring her face confusing him, "he did it, he woke up" she chocked out shocking Sid causing him to jog into braxes room.

She walked back, but when she walked in Sid was pressing on braxes wound, she knew it was procedure but she hated him being in so much pain, he let out a loud wince causing Sid to imeadiantly take his hand off the wound, I was really worried but there was a grin on sids face which calmed me down, "well come back mate ,you've been out for a while" he chuckled causing brax to smile, "how is he?" charlie asked worried about how much pain her husband was in , "well considering brax is recovering very well, you should be out of this hospital in at least 1 week." He chuckled once again as braxes face lit up "really?" he asked eagerly and I knew exactly why , Sid nodded , "rest up mate" he said before walking out.

"Did you hear that, 1 week" brax exclaimed , I chuckled "you've been in a coma for 10n days asleep , you probly didn't know you were in hospital" brax just shrugged his shoulders, "well then in 1 week you wont have to come to this place" he said "yes thank you husband, I think I'm bored of these 4 walls and nurses and really hot doctors.." she dragged on, Brax look like a broken man, "hot doctors , Madam have you forgotten about the ring on your finger" he coughed trying to sound French "of course not honey i just needed a distraction" she said causing braxes head to shoot up "shit that sounded bad" she exclaimed "you think" he replied and she giggled but stopped and turned around when their was a crash behind them.

Once they saw who it was they both grinned , it was Heath and Bianca, their mouths were agape and their eyes were popping out of their heads. Everything that was once in their hands had gone all over the floor as they both stuttered against words , once they got their heads around it Bianca ran up to brax and gave him a hug , "your awake" she exhaled , a cheek to cheek grin covered her face and she let out a squeal causing charlie to giggle, Once Bianca parted from the hug heath came forward and gave brax a man hug, his tough exterior had also given up and all you could see were kind hearted men who were best friends and brothers. "I've never been so happy to see your ugly mug" heath chuckled , his eyes were welling up and it was then he realized his family weren't ready to say goodbye to him yet, though something in his gut was telling him, everything wasn't going to be rose beds and a major fairytale. But he pushed that thought to the back of his mind and focused on the fact he'd been given a second chance, a second chance at love , second chance at life he'd been given a new beginning, but then something hit him , his memory was a bit ragged but he remembered bits and pieces of the shooting , "Grant" he said , his eyes widening as he shuffled uncomfortably on the bed "they caught him right?" he asked fearful of the answer hoping he didn't hurt bec , "umm his in Jail" she muttered , her eyes glazing over at the thought of the man that controlled her life and once again managed to stuff up her life, but winced when brax rubbed her arm, 'what happened" brax asked worriedly , "it was just a graze" she muttered once again "we'll leave you guys to it and give the rest of the town the good news" Bianca said and we waved her and heath off. "what aren't you telling me" brax asked and charlie knew she had to tell him otherwise he'd find out from someone else "after you got shot heath lunged at grant and their was a bit of a fight , heath ended up with the gun , his finger was about to pull the trigger but grant pushed the gun my way causing me to get hit" charlie whispered not wanting to alarm anyone else, The danger that' appeared in braxes eyes was dangerous and glint that she knew could cause heath to get seriously hurt. "heath shot you" he growled anger evident in his voice. "it wasn't his fault" she pleaded , knowingly widening her eyes, causing braxes face to relax and she sighed in relief. "I'm sorry, I just , I wish I could've protected you " He whispered , "You did , it should've been me protecting you when you got shot" she whispered back, After a few seconds of silence she spoke up. "do me a favor brax" Charlie whispered her gaze met his , her eyes clouded up and he nodded , not sure what this favor was going to be "don't jump in front of anymore bullets" she giggled and his reply was arrogant as usual "unless their coming your way" he chuckled halfheartedly , "I'll make sure you don't charlie replied smiling, brax let out a yawn but imeadiantly tried to hide it with his cheeky smile that he knew melted charlies heart. "nice try , im going to go home so you can go to sleep" she said reluctantly kissing his forehead and standing up but stopping when he started to speak . "stay with me" he asked widening his eyes trying his best to give her a puppy dog look causing charlie to raise her eyebrows and chuckle causing him to break the look and also fall into fits of laughter but stopping when he winced . "the nurses will be in here any moment" she reminded him sweetly. "fake sleep , your incredibly good at that sometimes I have to check your breathing" brax shuffled on the bed leaving a space next to him and patting that space smiling, causing charlie to cock and eyebrow. "I know I'm tiny but even I won't fit into that" she exclaimed waving her hands around her , "babe we practically sleep on a single bed" he whispered hearing the nurses footsteps nearing he pulled her onto the bed and brax poked her cheek causing her to close her eyes and brax did to.

After 5 minutes of nurses pestering over them trying to wake them up, and fake sleeping the nurses gave up and left. "that was close" brax whispered, "yeah and now I need to sneak out past the nurses" she hissed causing brax to chuckle "why did I get you to fake sleep?" he asked knowing charlie would cave,"1 night that's all" she whispered snuggling into braxes side staying away from his wounds.

**2 hrs later**

A memory flashed before Braxes eyes, he didn't wake up, his brain wouldn't let him, until he realized what was going on , he was remembering , the pain and everything, it was like it was happening again.

**Flashback**

"_Those of you, who know me, probably aren't surprised that I want to say a few words today. Those of you, who know me really well, will be surprised if it is only a few words!_

_I'm actually amazed to find myself standing here beside Brax today, because I always hoped mine would be an arranged marriage, but unfortunately Chris hemsworth just wasn't keen." A chuckle left everyone's lips at her words_

_After eight years together it means a lot to be standing here as braxes wife and I'm sure he's happy too, now that his finally stuck with me_

_There are a couple of reasons why I wanted to speak today. The first is that I would like to beg forgiveness from all those people I've lied to over the past six months or so, while organizing "braxes surprise party". I've told so many lies my nose should be longer than Pinocchio's. " again drunken laughs erupted around the room ,"brax on the other hand has been able to sleep easy at night, knowing that he's told hardly any lies, as no one has discussed the party with him. This is lucky really, as he can't afford for his nose to get any bigger!" she giggled_

"_The second reason I wanted to speak today was to personally thank some very special people. _

_To braxes mother , cheryl, thank you for making me feel so welcome in your familyI feel like I've been a part of your family forever and thank you for giving me the honors of marrying your son. _

_I'd like to thank my best friends ,girls you have helped with the wedding so much and let's face it, if yous hadn't come with me to buy the dress, I'd be up here naked. So everyone has something to thank you for. Thank you , I appreciate everything you've done and I hope that I can make you proud._

_I'd like to thank my dad for all he has ever done for me. Throughout my life he's always been the first person I turn to for help and advice, not to mention money. Talking of which has the girls told you you're paying for my dress! _

_But seriously Dad you mean the world to me, thank you for always being there. I hope you enjoyed our surprise . _

_I would like to thank both my mum and dad for all their love, support and guidance throughout my life. You have been the best parents a girl could wish for. I would not be where I am today if it wasn't for your encouragement. You have shown me the love and commitment involved in a marriage. I didn't settle for anything less than true love because of your example. I knew what to look for and I waited for it … and waited, and waited._

_And then along came brax_

_You know, my Mum always told me to marry a rich man and I couldn't have married a richer man than brax He is rich in inner strength, understanding and kindness, in forgiveness, patience and humour. Over the last 8 years,brax has been everything to me - my partner, my best friend, and my soul mate - not to mention my chauffeur, my cleaner, my butler and my banker. That was banker! And here he stands today – my husband!" she beamed her voice filled with joy_

"_They say you don't marry the man you can live with you marry the man you can't live without, and for me, that's brax._

_Would you all please join me in raising your glasses to my new husband. _

_I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all for sharing this magical day with us. Today wouldn't have been as special as it is without our family and friends being here to celebrate with us. _

_I'd like to propose a toast to you all – To family and friends!" she beamed and everyone raised their glasses _

"_to family and friends" _

_Everyone clapped at the end of her speech but one clap stood out from all, A gasp left everyone's lips as they saw who it was. His bone chilling laugh caused fear to etch across charlies face ,she was speechless just like everybody else. "what are you doing here" a voice asked , charlie managed to block all noises out, Her eyes full of hatred but terror, her hand clenched into a fist but then she let it go. "it's a wedding and I love weddings" he chuckled a smug sickly smirk plastered across his face sending shivers down charlies spine ,her hand gripped onto braxes her stamina was slowly leaving her body, she was aggressively shaking . Everyone but the bridal party managed to escape, our eyes widened at the object he pulled from behind pointing it straight at charlies chest. "I came here with a plan, you know the ones with a beginning middle and end" he smirked , Brax protectively stepped in front of charlie protectively pushing her back. I could feel her warm shaky breath on my skin and her eyes were burning into the back of his head. Her hands clinged onto my shirt. "but you see to get to the middle I need to finish the beginning and to do that I need charlie" the gun still pointed at us. "over my dead body" brax replied "so let it be" he smirked as if this was his plan all along_

_REBECCA POV_

_I knew what was about to happen and I wasn't prepared to let it happen not to brax ."STOP!" I yelled but he didn't stop so I had no choice but to step forward , braxes warm hand clinged onto hers , she could see his eyes were glazed over, a tear rolled down charlies cheek as his eyes pleaded her not to do anything, "you don't have to do this charlz" he pleaded, "I wish I didn't, I'm so sorry brax" I whispered only to turn around to a smug proud looking grant. "wow this is a great story, Do you have any words before I shoot you dead" he asked , the only words that left my mouth were I love you. I could feel Braxes green eyes burning into the back of my head. My eyes clouded over , everyone and everything I'd be leaving behind by doing this as he flicked the safety lock , tears long ago started to stream down my face, my body trembling. I closed my eyes as he pulled the trigger, Everyone was silently sobbing , I knew brax was broken. The bullet sounded, the noise echoed through my ears, I was expecting the bullet to pierce into my skin like many times before but nothing, all I heard was a thud. If it wasn't me he hit, then who was it? I was dreading to see who it was hoping brax hadn't done anything stupid , but when I opened my eyes I let out an ear piercing scream._

_**Brax pov**_

_I wasn't prepared to let the only women I'd ever love die, not yet ,so I did the only thing I could and jumped. My hand imeadiantly flew to my stomach,__Pegged with pain my legs gave, the inertia of the bullet threw my body under, I could feel the blood trickling through my fingers , staining my shirt , the pain was unbearable, my eyes closed but opened when I heard charlie scream, not just any scream but a blood curdling ear piecing scream echoed through angelos, she fell onto me sobbing, begging me to open my eyes. I was drifting in and out of consciousness, the life was draining out of me . "why would you do that" she scowled at me , and I fluttered my eyes opened and tried to speak, I mustered all my strength to say 3 words "because …your…it" I muttered, I could feel a strong sensation that those would be my last 3 words._

_**3**__**rd**__** person pov**_

_Grant was standing there , he didn't look angry he hit brax , almost like it was his plan all along, a sickly smirk was still etched onto his face his eyes were smiling inside but on the outside he was giving death glares. "wow , charlie you'd make such a good actress you know making this all happen but the problem is ,I'm missing an ending" he chuckled as charlie looked up, the shock from before had worsened ,by now she was terrified. Braxes blood was smudged all over her hands, her wedding dress was bloodshot red, some spots of blood darker than another. Out of nowhere Heath pounced onto grant ,knocking him straight to the ground. Heath was stronger then grant but grant had more power than him ,no one dared to move._

_**Heath POV**_

_I yanked him up from the ground and smashed him into the wall punching his face repeatedly. I knew beating grant up wasn't helping brax , but my whole life brax had taken care of me . The blood was rushing to my fist , making every punch stronger then the one before. It made me feel good seeing the blood and bruises appear on his face. I yanked him up by the collar once again and gave him a hard punch in the stomach , he bent over clutching his stomach in pain, I lifted his head up and hissed in his face " You hurt my family, I'll hurt you twice and trust me I can do it better than you ever could" I was completely oblivious to the fact he had a gun in his hand, I let go of him, causing him to collapse to the floor, dropping the gun as his stamina start to fade. I grabbed the gun and pointed it at his chest, our eyes locked and I sent him a goodbye glare. My finger pulled the trigger , the bullet sounded but it wasn't grant it hit._

_**Charlie pov**_

_I heard another bullet sound ,I thought it was just the ringing of the gun echoing through my ears , well until a shooting pain wizzed through my arm , causing my hand to fly to my arm. It wasn't until I saw the blood dripping down my arm I realized it wasn't my ears playing up ,it was a real gunshot and it hit me, of all people why me, I thought to myself, by now it wasn't just braxes blood all over me ,it was mine to. I could feel my body weakening , the smell of blood made me go light headed but I shook it off . I put as much pressure as I could on the wound scared onto braxes stomach , he was losing , so much blood. I placed 2 fingers on braxes neck checking if he had a pulse , I checked , but nothing , not a single beat. Braxes face was slowly paling and his skin was getting colder by the minute, I started to cry. I used the last of my energy to start compressions on brax , I could hear the sirens in the far distance ,to be honest I was relieved because my arm was numbing , brax was still out of it . I stood up only to go dizzy and collapse , blood seeping through the wound in my arm more than ever._

_**End of flashback**_

He jumped up , his heart racing at 100 mils an hour and his forehead sweating like a pig. He'd woken charlie up , she was worried about him. "I remember" his eyes glazed over, the memory's he wanted to come back had but now he wished they never did. "I'm so sorry you had to see that" he mumbled, charlies tears long ago made way down her cheeks.

"the blood everything , I couldn't do it again , could you?" charlie whispered , she swallowed a lump in her throat, "I'm so happy , you woke up" the glimmer in charlies eyes had returned. The sparkle that lit up the room in the dark had returned , last but not least , the old charlie had begun to return.

"I love you" brax whispered

"I love you more" she whispered back

"im afraid that's not possible" a chuckle left both our lips and we both drifted off to sleep.

…

Brax squinted as he opened his eyes , adjusting to the light shining through the window. He shuffled on the bed trying his best not to wake charlie up. This girl was beauty, in braxes eyes she was perfect, the full package.

In the time he'd woken up , he'd realized charlie had become a really light sleeper , and hasn't been feeling that well. She mustev felt him move because she tightened her grip on him and began to stir. He glanced down to charlie , she looked so cute and sweet in her sleep , but when she woke up it was a totally different story , her fiery temper and stubbornness could reel any one away from her. Her chest slowly rose , she was so peaceful sometimes I wonder if she's actually alive. Brax found himself unknowingly staring at her.

"it's rude to stare you know" charlie smiled her eyes still closed, "what's up?" she questioned , "I was just wondering how someone as stubborn can be so hot". He chuckled at her mock offended face , "really does my stubbornness affect you so so much , coz I can tell you you have all the stubbornness genes in your family to yourself." She pouted knowing brax would take back what he said, "no I didn't mean it like that … i.i was jjoking" he stammered knowing she could lash out an slap him , Charlie had somehow managed to make her eyes well up. "do, do you hat m that much?" charlie asked looking down and biting her lip to stop the grin placed on her face to form. "baby, baby I'm sorry ,I didn't mean it", he rubbed her back, charlies shoulders were shaking from keeping her laughs in her system, A grin had formed on her face and brax couldn't believe he'd fallen for it again , like many times before. "you're so gullible" she managed to say through her fits of laughter , this time it was braxes turn to pull an offend face, placing his hand on his chest , "keep going , keep going your braking my heart" she gasped when brax said this , mocking him but also when she realized something , something that excited her ."I would never , how could you think I' do that?" but before brax could give her his cocky comeback a nurse walked in. "how is my favorite patient today?" she chirped brax was her favorite patient, "yer im ok" he smiled back , "Mrs. Braxton ,how'd you sleep?" she was my favorite nurse , from what I knew her name was holly, "very good" I smiled and she nodded her head , as she wrote down info on her clipboard. "Dr walker is going to have to change your wound dressings in 5 minutes , so I'm going to have to ask charlie to leave so we can take care of her husband" she asked politely ending it with a giggle knowing how much charlie liked brax being called her husband. Charlie nodded and the nurse left, giving us a few moments . "that so good husband" she mumbled then pecked his lips and walked out a smile adorning her face.

…

**Brax pov**

The pain in my abdomen was throbbing as sid pressed his hands on the bandages wrapped around my stomach examining how much pain I was in. I didn't want to see the damage to bullet had caused , I had been hit by a few bullets in my time but never like this .

Once he took the bandages off I exhaled , then winced my skin was adjusting to the feeling of air that it was delayed to for so long. I was extremely overwhelmed by the sight in front of me , the sight I was desperately trying to avoid , it made me feel physically self-conscious and sick, sid must've seen the anxiousness flash across my face, "its not as bad as you think" he said looking up at me , I just nodded. The blood around the wound had dried and the stiches didn't make it look any more appealing , I knew it would leave a scar. I was in a lot of pain and flinched every now and again , as sid dressed the wound, the antiseptic seeped through the wound burning my skin.

**3****rd**** person**

"hello husband" charlie chirped skipping into the room , brax was in a lot of pain so he gave her a weak smile but charlie being a police officer , could see right through it ,"hey what's wrong?" she asked cautiously sitting on the bed taking his head into her petite hands, "nothing" he muttered causing charlie to raise her right eyebrow, "really…" she dragged on, "yes" he snapped causing her to jump , "I'm just in a bit of pain" he said looking down , "its ok baby " she cooed down at him trying to look sad , but there was glimmer in her eye , a glimmer that told him she was excited about something, something big and life changing…

**sorry for leaving you guys on a bit of a cliff hanger, I tried to portray their emotions , especially at the start waking up, I'm so happy that you are all enjoying the story and letting me know what you think , remember 31****st**** reviewer gets a shout out, and I cant wait to write the next chapter,im so excited about it im typing up a bit of my draft already LOL, please take the time to type something in the box below , leaving some advice or something, thanks for reading , enjoy…**


	5. i think

**Thank you so much for your reviews , like promised my 31****st**** reviewer was Broniieee, check out her story, im so happy that your all enjoying this story, I have so much planned for this story, I can tell you for a fact , this is going to be a long story, but only you guys can make that happen this chapter is short and abit lighter than the others because the things coming towards these two is sad,(hint hint) enjoy…**

**Chapter 5 - I think**

**End of the week**

Dr walker had just given charlie and brax great news , brax got to go home , finally they could be normal , well they'd never been normal so just how things used to be.

Charlie still had that glint in her eyes , only a few times brax had seen this glint in her eyes , but this wasn't just any glint , it was a glimmer and shine that made her glow.

"what do you wanna do when we get home?" brax asked, "you know the usual" charlie replied clearly forgetting the usual was something brax couldn't do , "the usual?" brax questioned clearly shocked by her answer , "but I can't for 4 more weeks" brax was very confused , "OH GOD NOT THAT!" she squealed , "I meant something like a movie not that" she exclaimed shocked by his assumption , "why don't we watch a movie now?". "I know the best movie" she chimed and pulled the devil wears Prada out of her bag causing brax to groan. "grow up!" she exclaimed and slapped him over the head causing him to shut his mouth.

…

Halfway through the movie the nurse came in , "here's your last lunch Mr. Braxton" the nurse chirped and turned around, "I love that movie!" she squealed clapping her hands, then blushing in embarrassment and leaving.

Charlie went straight for the jelly , and before brax could even string together 2 words the jelly was in her mouth currently getting swallowed. "that was mine" he winged causing charlie to grin with a full mouth of strawberry jelly. 'but I got it first" she smirked as he huffed 'fine" he muttered "is it done yet?" he asked , charlie let out a chuckle , "another hour its just gone half way" she replied "what's up with girls and chick flicks?" he asked forgetting he said it out loud , "there called romantic comedy's" she corrected him.

…

"finally!" brax exclaimed as the movie came to an end , "do you wanna watch the proposal?" charlie giggled at the face brax pulled , "you say you hate those movies but I know you love them as much as I do" her giggle had now turned into a light chuckle , "nah, you obviously don't know me" he shook his head adamantly. "hello" yelled heath , he was obviously in a good mood, he walked into the room carrying a bag , probly for brax. "hey heath" brax replied, heath jumped onto the bed causing charlie to roll off landing on her side. "hello sis" heath cooed over the edge of the bed. "your not my brother , if you were I would've disowned you years ago" she chuckled her voice dripped with sarcasm, "but we have the same brother" heath laughed at his own joke and charlie scrunched her face up , "what?" heath asked confused at charlies reaction "don't call me and brax brother and sister" heath chuckled pondering for her to go on, "why?" he question again "because the things we do a brother and sister should never" at her reply it was heaths turn to scrunch his face up. "lets just pack" brax chuckled at heath who looked like a sulking little kid.

…

"god I never knew you had so much stuff" charlie exclaimed and heath nodded "ditto" brax chuckled , "I'm going to get a coffee , you guys want some?" heath asked , "I'll have a flat white" brax said , they both looked at charlie expectantly , "I'll have a green tea" she said , they looked at her weirdly and she knew exactly why , "I can have a tea very now and again" she said and they both nodded , 'definitely brothers' charlie thought to herself . heath left the room sensing they needed to talk.

"ok what's going on, you've been acting weird all week" brax asked, he raised his voice slightly , but it didn't effect charlie at all, she just smiled knowing it was time to tell him.

Braxes face was pale, like it was in his coma, charlie asked if he was okay , but brax being so stubborn answer was 'I'm okay'

She held his hand , a smile adorning her face, little did she know all that, all her happiness was about to be taken from her. Her gaze locked with his, braxes green eyes pierced through her blue eyes, her eyes were smiling.

"I think" she started but stopped when braxes hand went limp, his eyes closed and the machines around him started to go wild…

**Cue the waterworks, the next chapter is very sad , I cant wait to write the next chapter. Thank you all for reviewing , they motivate me so so much . make my fingers type faster. Check out a music video on YouTube called Drifting in my capella, you wont regret it and brax fans will love it! Thank you for reading , and don't forget to review….**


	6. love & war?

**Wow , thank you so so much for all your reviews, I hope I don't lose that many readers with this story , because I really have a lot planned for this story , it may come as a depressing story, in a way it is but im only trying to portray grief and I can say that in the end there is a happy ending.**

**Anyway with all the reviews you guys motivated me to writing my next chapter so I will stop rambling, also I don't have a specific update day, I just update when I have time.**

**Enjoy and please review **

**Chapter 7 – love & war?**

Nurses and doctors barged through the doors , ushering charlie out but charlie being as stubborn as she was insisted she stayed. Once she realized what was going on tears began to pour out of her eyes spilling onto her cheeks, her body trembled . charlies body jumped as they shocked brax , but nothing changed a long defining line etched onto the heart monitor the beep filling the room as well as charlies sobs.

Heath had seen the rush into the room and it wasn't long before he heard the defining beep fill the corridor , he raced towards braxes room, seeing his brother and new sister in such a state caused him to drop the hot drinks causing them to splash onto the floor. His feet paced towards charlie , his arms wrapped around her and he held her as she cried , her tears burning through his tshirt.

30 minutes had past and nothing had changed , charlie had calmed down but the heart monitor still had a long line etched onto it , like it was trying to wake them up but it couldn't. Charlies head snapped up when she heard a few words that made her world stop, her heart stop ,her body stop, "time of death 17:50pm" Dr walkers voice was crackly , anyone could tell that this was the last thing he wanted to happen, Charlie squirmed out of heaths grip and flung herself onto braxes bed, She tried to start CPR , but she didn't have the strength to go on , instead she collapsed onto brax sobbing , each tear drop rippling onto his chest.

Heath didn't believe his brother was gone , his big brother wasn't dead, He rushed over to charlie and tried to pull her off brax so that the doctors could do a few tests and find out what killed his brother and if that monster did this. Charlie just gripped brax tighter.

…

After a while of persuasion security had managed to get charlie to wait outside , now they were sitting in an all familiar corridor , in the hospital , cheeks tearstained and eyes bloodshot red. Charlie was now sitting staring at a blank wall, her arms were holding her legs tightly, everyone that passed gave both charlie and heath symphethtic looks but charlie took no notice she just stared ahead, like she was trying to wake herself up from a nightmare a never ending nightmare.

Footsteps echoed through the now lifeless corridor , rushing towards them was Ruby and Casey. Charlie wasn't ready for this yet, but she didn't have the strength to run either, she knew she had to tell them but how, How was she supposed to tell casey his big brother was gone? How was she supposed to tell her daughter the man she looked up to as a dad was gone, dead?

They saw her messed up and paced forward imeadiantly hugging her, they didn't know why but they both had a feeling something inside of them was gone dead.

Charlie didn't want a hug, she wanted a bear cuddle from brax , the ones that always made her smile, the ones that kept her warm and the ones that she felt protected with but the problem was he was the one person who couldn't .

"whats wrong charlie?" Casey asked, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to the question he'd just asked , "its my fault" cried charlie , covering her eyes like something had just hit her, something terrible. "whats your fault?" ruby asked, she was also unsure if she wanted to know the answer, charlie started to cry , dark tram lines made way down her cheeks.

A doctor approached , charlie didn't need to look upto see it was a doctor giving her a sympathetic look, "we've determined a cause of death" At this casey and ruby heads snapped up ,Heath was here and charlies mum and dad were out of the country , there was only one person they hadn't asked about, "Mr . Braxton had a full cardiac arrest , im so sorry for your loss" Ruby started to shake indicating she was about to cry ,but she couldn't keep it in , brax wasn't dead, but he was gone. Casey had started to cry, he held ruby as their grief began to take over their bodies.

Charlie couldn't do it, she couldn't bear to see her daughter and new brother be sad, so she wandered into braxes room, A flood of tears gushed down her cheeks as she let a strong sob leave her lips as a great pain welled up in her. "im so sorry Brax" she whispered , usually she would be glued onto the spot but today she wasn't, charlie paced forward and wrapped her arms around braxes cold and lifeless body , "I'm so sorry" she murmured entangling her hands in braxes , they were the perfect fit, "I love you"

**Like I said before I hope I don't lose many readers because of my plan for this story, I hope you guys don't give up but if you do thank you for reading. To those who will continue to read I have lots planned and eventually there will be a happy ending ,I also have to add this is definitely not the end of brax…**

**thank you for all your reviews , it makes my day , if you have any advice or anything you want to happen please review or pm me.**

**Hope you enjoyed xoxo**


	7. forever gone?

**Hey all, I was abit disappointed with the lack of reviews in the last chapter , so if you are reading this fic , please let me know because if you're not enjoying the story ,I do want to know so I can change the plan, anyways this is a deep chapter , all reviews appreciated…**

**Chapter 7 – forever gone**

**Charlie pov**

The liquid I was swallowing burnt my throat, but that's what I wanted , to numb the pain, eventually I realized no amount of alcohol was going to numb the pain I was feeling. Right now I feel like I have a heavy weight on my chest. I have trouble breathing; sometimes my body takes deep sighing breaths in an attempt to get more oxygen. Sometimes I have anxiety attacks, and my heart actually aches. I couldn't go home last night,, mine and braxes house, where we were going to be happy, raise our kids and create lots of memory's, though now I realize all that was just stereotypical thinking, now I'm sitting on the beach with my now nearly empty bottle of vodka swarmed with memories of brax and me, from our first date to our movie nights.

No one would ever understand the pain I was feeling, it was unbearable. People expect me to be sad and heartbroken, I am but most of all I'm angry, angry at myself because it was my past that got brax killed.

I looked down at my left hand and ran my fingers over my wedding band and engagement ring, her eyes glazed over once again remembering their promises towards each other.

I felt an unexpected presence join me, I turned around to see heath standing there, blind Freddie could see that he was putting on a brave face but inside he was broken just like the rest of us. I couldn't begin to imagine what'd be like to take your brothers place as man of the family. He sat down next to me wrapping his arms around my shoulders pulling me closer, we were both looking for comfort wherever we could find it, we searched for each other because we both had a strong connection with brax. I buried my head into his chest and let a few stray tears roll down my cheeks as we both grieved over a man we both loved, a man who meant so much, a man that never should've been taken from us.

How was this going to work? How was I going to stop breaking down? How was life going to continue knowing brax wasn't with me, to kiss me, laugh at me and be there for me? I just don't understand what I've done to deserve this , Yes I have done bad things in my time but all for a reason, is this my punishment , my consequence for protecting the people I love ,my friends ,my family?

"I can't do it heath, not anymore" I whispered , my voice crackling, "yes you can charlie, your one of the strongest people I've ever met" heaths reply to me was, I would be delighted for a compliment any other day, just not today and all the days to follow, "it's only been 1 day heath, one day and I'm already broken" I lifted my head off his chest and looked into his eyes, his eyes looked lost , I'm pretty sure mine did to , but that was the least of my problems, "everywhere I look there's a memory or something that reminds me of brax." The tears I'd been holing just spilled over, I didn't make any effort to wipe away my tears, the reason was I didn't have the strength, my usual energy was gone.

**3****rd**** person pov**

Casey was sitting on his bed holding his favorite picture of him and brax, it was a few years ago on the beach with their new boards, they had gleeful smiles on their faces, Charlie had taken this picture. He knew she hadn't come home last night; he couldn't begin to imagine what'd been like to have your worst enemy, the man who controlled your life for so long to shoot your new husband. Charlie was the girl he looked up to as the sister he never had.

…

A tear rolled down Bianca's cheek, she couldn't believe one of her best friends were gone, she also knew her other best friend would never be the same. Now she was sitting in her backyard ,legs crossed, leaning on her big oak tree, all alone mourning her best friend , brother in law, a great guy and a fantastic person.

…

The bay seemed quiet today, it was cold, the waves were crashing and the sky was dark and gloomy. Overall it was less lively; it just didn't have that spark that made summer bay.

…

Charlie was lying on her bed, clutching her stomach as she cried, it'd now been 24 hours without brax, the digits on the clock stood out piercing through her eyes keeping her from closing them, 17:50pm , all she wanted was to be numb but she couldn't. It was like someone was protecting her, stopping her from doing something stupid, she rolled over only to see the one person she couldn't.

Daryl Braxton

"don't do this to yourself charlz" he whispered , "be happy, it's what you deserve' charlies eyes glazed over, "nah I deserve this , you don't" she whispered back , "you didn't know this would happen, I didn't ,I love you ,you know that right?" braxes husky voice alone bought charlie to tears, "yeah I know" she bit her lip in a bid to stop her emotions showing but she couldn't , it was hopeless, a lone tear slid on her cheek, "don't cry, please" his voice pleaded "I can't help it ,my tears are ready to fall at any time" she admitted her voice croaking as she spoke, "let them fall, but I don't want them to fall over me, I couldn't handle it" his voice pleaded.

Nobody was in the house, leaving Charlie alone and vulnerable, free to do what she wanted. "I can't control it brax, I just I can't!" Her voice yelled but ended in barely a whisper, her words were the truth, it was true she couldn't do it, Charlie ran out of the room in a mess, sobbing.

**Next day- 2 days without brax**

**Charlie's pov**

I sat on a stool in Angelos, a bottle of bourbon in front of me, my phone in hand. I was in the B section in my contacts, my finger lingered over braxes name, I don't know why but I did it ,I called even though I knew he wouldn't answer, he couldn't. Braxes voice filled the line with his stupid answering machine tone, "_hi its brax I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so talk to it instead." _the amount of times I'd told him to change it to something decent, I could go to Jupiter, private jet with brad pitt, though I've got to admit mine isn't anything decent either. I tilted my head back willingly trying to blink away my tears but that didn't work.

I felt a wave of strength come over me that I hadn't felt in a while, my spear of a minute judgment call told me to smash the bottle in front of me and believe it or not I did just that, I flung the bottle of bourbon smashing it against the wall ,pieces of shattered glass flew everywhere.

"What are you doing charlz?" a voice asked causing me to turn around,"you're not real so stop trying to control me!" I yelled clutching my stomach and bending over, I hated who I'd became, I just told the man I loved that he wasn't real.

**3****rd**** person pov**

Footsteps raced up the stairs of Angelos, echoing through Angelos, Charlie took no notice, "what's going on?" Martha asked shocked, Charlie shook her head in anguish and looked down, Martha raced towards her and held her as she sobbed into her chest, tears pouring down Charlies dry pale cheeks, Martha's heart broke seeing one of her best friends so broken.

**Braxes pov**

I watched as the women I loved broke down in one of her best friends arms sobbing, it broke my heart seeing her cry, cry over me because all I want is for her to be happy. Yes this was never supposed to happen , but maybe it was for the best, for both of us ,I don't know how but it just wasn't meant to be.

This is what was happening and we both needed to face that it was over, we were over and nothing and no one could change it.

**I know I ended it very glumly, very sorry, please review, favorite and follow, you guys reading my stories makes my day. They are abit of a group of friends, Brax, charlie , heath, Bianca , Martha, jack, Hayley and Noah. Next chapter is the funeral, then there is lots of drama, but I will try and add some light chapters. Was there enough emotion? Enjoy reading…**

**Thank you xxx**


	8. goodbye my lover

**G'DAY Everyone , thank you for all my loyal readers , you guys are AWESOME you hear me AWESOME! Anyways im just not very happy that Tony Abbott was elected for the Prime minister…**

**The 51****st**** reviewer is going to get a mention in the next chapter and a sneek peek!**

**Just to add I have 2 of my own characters, Emma and Drew (Andrew) , emma is one of braxes childhood best friends, shes beautiful, She has dark red hair (rhianna colour) that's straight and goes to under her shoulders ,she works in the gym, had vivid green eyes that glow , tanned skin. She has a stud piercing on her nose and has musical instrument small tattoo on her hip. I'll add drew in the next A/N (sorry for being so long)**

**Anyways as I promised this is the funeral, Who likes the new twins on home and away? I love them , Evelyn is just gorgeous… enjoy rebecca xxx**

**3****rd**** person pov**

A tear rolled Charlies cheek as she examined herself in her mother's long antique mirror she loved dearly since she was a kid, only today it wasn't the mirror she looked at, a shadow of her old self pierced through her , it reminded her of what today was, the one day she dreaded , Braxes funeral, the one day where people would be giving her symphethy for something that was never supposed to happen. This'd be where she would have to face that Brax was gone and was never coming back.

There was a knock at the door , "come in" her voice croaked, it was Casey, he stuck his head in the door, "we're ready if you are" he said, Charlie nodded her head, "I wont ever be ready to say goodbye." She whispered.

…

"Brax was a great guy, my brother and one of my first best friends. I don't think there are any words that can describe Brax other than the fact he was awesome. I can remember the day Brax came home , with the biggest smile I'd ever seen , he told me about a girl he met called Charlie , that's all he knew. When I met Charlie, I realized her and Brax were born for each other.

Now that he has passed away, of course there is emptiness and pain, confusion and maybe even anger at death coming to a man of only 23 years old. But in many ways, the gift of Braxes life is still here with us. He lives on in our memories and stories, and in what all of us have become because of him. So I encourage you to share –today, tomorrow and in the years to come- your memories and stories, and to share the pain of your loss as well. In this way we will keep the gift of Braxes life alive."

Casey looked around the church , all his family and friends were there to mourn his brother, he started to get teary before he even began.

"He loved to make people happy and I enjoyed it when he made me laugh. Every now then, well maybe more, I would try to get him in trouble but we always ended up playing together. We wrestled, played sock hockey on the floor, emptied the clean laundry onto the floor, and generally disrupted the house on purpose in order to drive Ma crazy. We had some good times together and developed a strong bond even with our age difference.

We don't live in a perfect world and his good-naturedness, generosity, and acceptance of others wasn't always mirrored back to him. He struggled with this for a long time. There was an emptiness, a void within that he couldn't fill.

Then, he met Charlie

She completed him…. totally erasing that void….they made him whole." He let out a deep sigh , then looked at Charlie, who he could tell was holding back tears so she could stay strong.

"Brax was strong willed, stubborn, and hard headed. However, under that gruff exterior was a heart of gold. Brax was generous to a fault. If you were in need he'd find a way to help, to make sure you got what you needed. If he couldn't do it himself he usually knew who could, or he knew somebody who knew somebody that could.

The world is less rich without you bro. It is saddened as am I. Driving home after making your arrangements last week I couldn't stop thinking of the times we spent together and the times we didn't but should have. I shed some tears for you on my journey home while the sky wept around me as you made your own journey to God.

Like I've said many times before Brax you were an awesome brother. Love ya bro"

he chocked out, Casey hated life without his brother , the guy who helped him ,his whole life, now in a second , a flash he was gone.

…

Heath, sighed loudly, as he walk up the Alter to th podium "4 days ago , started as one of the happiest days in my life, my brother was coming home, finally he could be happy. But ended as I never expected. I didn't think it was possible, to go from organizing your brothers homecoming, to his funeral.

I guess when you nearly lose someone you love, you realize how important they really are."

Heath, let out a deep sigh, and let a stray tear roll down his cheek.

"life never goes to plan does it?" Heath, let out a small chuckle. "brax, was the best brother , he was my first friend , after I realized that picking on me was just brotherly love . He didn't deserve this, for his life to be taken away in a flash from the past when he had just committed to his future, Charlie, the sister me and Casey, never had. You made Brax , so happy, the happiest we'd ever seen.

My brother Brax, showed me how to be a man, how to treat a girl and to survive, through the toughest of times. He showed me strength and resolve, love and tenderness.

He showed me how to be a good and loyal friend and I've been lucky enough to make a lot of good and loyal friends in return on my journey, but the best friend I made was Brax .

He was my big brother, my best friend, and I'll hear his voice in mine for all my days." Heath, sighed , he wasn't very good at this type of stuff

"I remember when Brax, was about 9 and I was about 7 , we made a lemonade stand, to be honest we may quite a few bucks , that only lasted 2 weeks though. We sold lemonade out of this giant pewter pitcher our Nan let us use. One afternoon a confused and pushy elderly lady saw our giant sign reading "10 Cents" with the word "lemonade" too small or too yellow for her to read. Well, whatever the reason, she thought we had started a business selling giant pewter pitchers, one at a time, for 10 cents a piece."

He let out a mere chuckle and so did everyone , Charlie, knew this story all too well.

It fell to Brax, to explain to her that our most important piece of capital equipment wasn't for sale.

And that was Brax. He was always tougher than me, fearless even.

He was my big brother — even if I was taller."

Charlie, let out a giggle and the rest of the church.

"That was a fact I pointed out a lot when we were younger. He didn't like it. But he got even. As some of you may know, when we were little kids we were in the Metropolitan Opera together. We were "supernumeraries" Heath ,stuttered out finding it hard to pronounce the word "— a fancy word for talentless "extras."

Anyway, as I was wont to do, I told the director of a new opera we were in, "He's older, but I'm taller." The director responded, perhaps because of my brattiness, that "in that case," Brax, should get to ride in the fake hot-air balloon that soared above the stage.

I really wanted to ride that balloon." He whined

"you're the best brother a guy could ask for."

Heath , stepped down and put his hand on Braxes , coffin , letting a tear ripple causing a splashing effect. "love ya bro" he muttered and walked down rubbing his eyes in a bid to stop the tears.

…

**Charlies POV**

Looking at the coffin, I thought to all the people that have suffered, because of me, the people that have lost family because of my past . I have ruined so many peoples lives , Yet somehow they except me as a friend.

I haven't cried a single tear , my cheeks are dry and pale. The only fear I have is that I'll break down when I got up and speak

**3****rd**** person POV**

"It's not everyday a guy and a girl can be best friends , but me and brax were. I didn't see what the big deal used to be , I was a girl, brax , was a guy.

People realized we were friends and friends only after I punched some random guy in the face , he was a complete wanker"

a chuckle left their lips, Emma shrugged her shoulders.

"Brax, I'm pretty sure you knew this, but it was me , Charlie, Bi, Martha and Haylz who egged your place after , you and Bec broke up and no it wasn't their ideas , it was mine"

The 5 best friends cheeks turned crimson as the guys gawked at them in shock everyone else chuckled.

"I remember the first time I saw Brax, I had moved schools and he was late, actually Brax was rocking the braces, he was a twinge self-conscious , not that he'd admit that. To be honest I had a teeny crush on Brax, but that didn't last long , well it lasted till I met his best friend" Emma felt her cheeks warming up, she was blushing , crimson red.

"All the girls thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend which was ridiculous coz we were in grade 2. It was funny seeing them jealous , coz every girl throughout school liked Brax , with or without braces and it was Charlie, out of all those girls he chose charlie and I helped him with it" Emma ended the sentence with a sly smile. "I already knew Charlie, from when I lived in the city, and oh the stories I told her about Brax. She was shocked half were true…

I thought Brax and Charlie would be a perfect couple , and make perfect babies" she giggled "though I never admitted that coz there both so stubborn, they hadn't even seen a photo of each other , now you all know why I only ever had selfies as my lock screen"

Emma chuckled letting a few tears roll down her cheeks.

"Brax I've known you since we were 8 years old, you were one of the bests friends I ever had, you were one of the first people I trusted with my secrets with everything. Brax you still had so much to live for, you never should've been taken from me, charlie, us"

Emma's voice crackled and more tears streamed down her face, causing her vision to blur as she spoke her next words.

"I love you Brax, I love you so much like you were my brother, I'll never forget you"

Her voice shook with sadness, like she was desperately pleading herself to wake up from a nightmare, just like everyone else.

…

Hayley got up she didn't know how this would go "I knew most people would give a speech or tell memories like they did , I have too many to share so I decided to read a poem me and Brax worked on in year 10 for an assignment." Hayley took a deep breath before she began so she could compose herself .

"_If tears could build a stairway_

_And thoughts a memory lane_

_I'd walk right up to heaven_

_And bring you home again _

_No farewell words were spoken_

_No time to say goodbye_

_You were gone before I knew it_

_And only god knows why_

_My hearts still active in sadness_

_And secret tears still flow_

_What it meant to lose you_

_No one can ever know_

_But now I know you want us_

_To mourn for you no more_

_To remember all the happy times life still has much in store "_

Hayley couldn't continue, she was sobbing and reading at the same time but that wasn't very good so she took a little brake but she couldn't. Jack walked up behind her and continued for her

" _Since you'll never be forgotton_

_I pledge to you today_

_A hallowed place within my heart_

_Is where you'll always stay_

_God knows why, with chilling touch_

_Death gathers those w love so much_

_And now what seems so strange and dim_

_Will be clear , when we meet him"_

Jack, finished off for her. Tears long ago made way down his face, Brax had affected so many people good and bad. The whole church was crying, crying into tissues , into loved ones while some let the tears fall freely.

"Brax you've changed my life and everyone else's that have ever been lucky enough to cross paths with you, I love you" Hayley finished off her sentence and stepped down .

…

Jack stayed up on the podium seeing as he helped Hayley there was no point in going back down "This is hard. Honestly, I don't know how to begin. I know I should begin by saying that we are here not only to remember, but to honor the life of Darryl Braxton . But where do I begin to tell you all about the man Brax, was. There was so much to Braxes life, and so much that I want everyone to know about him. His life was so full.

Brax , was a man who lived for life and lived for others. He was never afraid and he was braveenough to be the man he felt he should be. I loved the man that he was, and I believe the things that made Brax the man he was are what we all loved about him. Chivalry, justice, honor, compassion, integrity, determination, love, stubbornness, respect, and heart are words that describe the man he was. Brax was loyal to a fault and the words that he spoke rang with the sound of truth. He was all about goodness and doing what he thought was right.

Now in junior high I wasn't a really outgoing person and Brax helped me come out of my shell. He introduced things to me I would never have tried to experience. Silly things like: crawfish tails, Irish History, and even rock and roll. The first nirvana song I heard was played by Brax. I remember Ms. Bege made us stay after Spanish class in 8th grade because we couldn't stop talking to each other, and we were on opposite sides of the room. I'm not sure why or how but at the end of our 5 minute chat; Ms. Bege had decided to sit us next to each other, And over the years as life took us in different directions, Brax did everything he could to bring us back together, just like in Ms. Bege's class. Nothing could keep me and Brax apart, and they still can't, because you will always be in our hearts.

Another life lesson Brax taught me was simply to enjoy life. And did he ever enjoy life, up until his final hours. Just imagine five 23 year old men running around the yard shooting each other with fireworks, All because Brax, after helping the kids with the fireworks saved some roman candles so we could have some adult fun. Then you can probably guess what came next. A good old fashioned brawl. he loved to wrestle it was just one of his ways of showing that he loved you and to share with you a bond that comes from the early days of man." He chuckled

"mate, you were my best friend, one of the greatest guys I've ever met."

…

"Now for a very special eulogy from Braxes, wife Charlie."

…

**Charlies POV**

"I don't understand what I'm supposed to say or do, what I'm supposed to think or how I'm supposed to act .We all know how precious life is, but we still take it for granted .

Brax meant so much to me, no he means so much to me, he always will, because no matter what Brax, will always be with me , Us." I started to choke up and tears began to brim my eyes.

"in our wedding vows, we promised we'd be together until death do us apart, but as far as I'm concerned death wont do us apart, never has and certainly never will. Brax, I hate that your gone, your gone because of my past, my enemies, that's something I can't forgive" by now tears were streaming down my face, shaking.

"You've given me so much to smile about, our first kiss, first date, movie nights , your proposal , our wedding.." I trailed off not wanting to continue that sentence.

"when I saw you, I knew it was love, I may have played hard to get, but that's only because I wasn't sure, scared even. You are one of the greatest guys I've ever met, I love you with my heart and soul. Your my other half , my true love. I appreciate everything you've and no matter what, you.. You"

I took a shaky breath, my voice was wobbling and my tears weren't stopping.

"You always protected me, even if it was something bad, you gave me a cuddle or just used words, it helped

I always knew that Brax, was there for me and if I had a horrible day I knew I could call him up and he would be there for me. He always knew how to make me laugh and he was my favorite person to spend time with. I really hope he knew how very much I loved him and cared about him."

The next words Charlie, spoke had a questioning tone laced into the words

"I don't understand why he couldn't stay here on earth because we were supposed to grow old together. I don't want to go on without Brax, but I have to because it's what'd he'd want, not me.

I'm not angry at God, but I will admit that I don't understand why He would allow this to happen. I used to pray and ask God for a kind, loving Man and meeting Brax was the answer to that prayer. Brax told me later that he knew he wanted to marry me on our first date. He impressed me from our very first date .I watched how he treated others and he was always respectful and polite and that impressed me, too.

One of the best things about Brax was his sense of humor. He made me laugh a lot. One time I told him that if I was stranded on a deserted island and I could pick one thing to be with me; I would want to be with him. I asked Brax what he would pick. I'm known for my very bad sense of direction and for getting lost a lot so Brax's response was quite typical of him. He looked at me and said, "It depends; are you the reason that we're stranded on this deserted island?" I laughed so hard at that as it was just so typically Brax. Then he told me that he wouldn't pick me to be stranded with, but he would pick a BOAT so he could sail away from the deserted island. Once again he made me laugh.

I am going to miss that laughter so, so much! We would go out some place and I would say, "Are you going to embarrass me again?" and he would smile and say, "Probably!" We loved to tease and joke around, its kinda weird me being bad at directions being a cop and all" a wave of chuckled echoed through the crowd.

My heart was racing, my chest getting heavier like an avalanche of rocks rolling off a hill and burying me alive. My breaths were getting faster and my breathing was ragged, images of all sorts came popping into my head. "it's just..its just not fair" I let out an angry but vulnerable sob , a hard lump formed in my throat and no matter what I tried it wouldn't leave, tears started to uncontrollably fall out of my eyes rolling down my cheeks as if they were part of a waterfall, I felt nauseas and dizzy. "I'm sorry, I can't do this" with that I ran down the middle of the church, my body trembled and I gasped for air as the soft wind blew against my skin. My knees buckled and I collapsed sobbing my heart out letting all my feelings out , crying until my heart ached.

…

**3****rd**** person POV**

"charlie gave me a 2 songs to play, even though the first one was written for a girl, the songs title matched this situation" the music began to play, the words goodbye my lover echoed through the church bringing everyone to tears as they watched a slideshow of Braxes life.

…

Charlie heard the music from outside the words 'goodbye my lover' making everything seem so real, she snuck back into the back of the church only to be joined by one of her favorite pictures of her and Brax, it was after their first surfing 'lesson' eventually she learnt . She was wearing her purple and white stripy bikini, salt water droplets rolled down their faces, cheek to cheek photo, and their eyes full of love, lust and happiness. How she wanted to be one of those droplets, out of the water then dripping back, disappearing into the miles of ocean where no one would ever find her.

The sun was setting on the horizon, painting the water with the reflection of brilliant pink and orange that spread across the sky.

Charlies lips quivered and she shut her eyes in a bid to stop her tears, a pair of arms wrapped around her, she realized the arms as Heaths , she silently sobbed into his chest, tears of anguish , heartbreak, anger and love fell from her eyes, letting the once strong girl she was disappear and let the girl she was trying to hide prevail.

…

**Emma's POV**

We'd organized something before and after the wake, our way. Everyone turned up. Me, charlie, bi, Haylz ,Martha , Jack, Heath , Drew ,Noah, Ruby and Casey were in our black bikinis or boardies our boards in hand. Charlie was going to go first , she was holding the ring made of roses whilst we all held a rose. She ran out into the water, it was old and slightly rough but that didn't matter, we all felt close to Brax here in the water.

Once we got to our desired place near the rocks but far away from them for safety we sat in silence and thought to our best moments with Brax.

**Flashback – fifteen years prior**

**Emmas POV continued**

"_we have a new student in our class " Miss honey announced, "stand up and introduce your self love" she told me, I liked this teacher already , she was really sweet. I stood up and tried to be confident which wasn't very easy, "my names Emma Jackson, I'm 8 years old and my birthday is on the 30__th__ of October " I said, I started to blush ,my eyes popped out of my head when a boy walked into the class, he had a dark brown color hair and emerald eyes , he had braces as well as a muscly built, he was cute._

"_Darryl, why are you late?" Miss Honey Boomed , I didn't miss him roll his eyes before turning to the teacher I just smirked. "I was visiting my mum!" he exclaimed obviously annoyed, "fine , go sit next to Emma" she snapped, he walked over to my table and sat down smiling, "I'm Darryl but call me Brax" he whispered, putting his hand out to shake, I returned the gesture and shook his hand, "Emma"_

**End of flashback**

**EMMA POV continued**

I could never forget that day, I made one of my first friends, I couldn't believe that 15 years later he was gone…

**Charlies POV**

The first memory that came into my mind was the day I met Brax , I got to admit , I was a real bitch to him, but I felt attracted to him.

**Flashback - three years ago**

**Charlies POV continued**

_I stood on the Sunkist beach, the sand was soft and fluffy, though I don't know how sand can be fluffy, today I felt like something good was going to happen, something that'd never happened. I heard footsteps approaching me , I turned around only to see a guy from school, I rolled my eyes. _

"_Charlie right?"_

_he asked I turned around to him and gave him a point look _

"_what do you want?"_

_I snapped , he ignored my interruption, _

"_you know Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so beautiful only happens once in a lifetime." He was quite witty and sweet, and cute, he saw that I was getting agitated, you see I had a very hot head,_

"_I'm Darryl, but call me Brax"_

_he told me very forwardly, I knew this guy , but I didn't know where from._

"_can I have your number?" I was shocked at how confident this guy was,_

"_nup"_

"_why not?" he questioned me, arh he was stubborn but so , so so , so hot. Our faces were very close._

"_I don't know 'stranger' you try figure it out"I whispered seductively in his ear and walked off._

"_not even a thank you" he yelled after me_

"_nope" I yelled back and walked off with a smirk_

**End of flashback **

**Charlies pov continued**

I smiled remembering that day, the day I met my true love, the one who had just died because of my past, the man who I was mourning.

"you ready?" Bianca, asked me, I nodded my head, they put their roses in the water and let them float to wherever god wanted them to go. I put the ring in the water letting it float along the horizon. I blew a kiss after it, for 15 minutes , we all sat down and thought

…

The sun began to set so everyone went to Angelos , for the wake, when it was dark enough we were going to finish off the day once again our way. I stayed out on the sand letting each grain of sand slide through my fingers and fly into the air.

I felt a familiar presence join, one I longed for,

"Why are you down here when you can be up there?"

He asked me pointing to Angelos, I looked up but then looked back at the horizon, I shrugged my shoulders,

"It's easier to stay down here than to be up there"

I muttered loud enough for Brax, to hear.

"Yes but it'll be harder to stay down here if everyone's up there "

He stared at me immensely , I didn't mind, I could feel his green eyes piercing through me.

"How much harder can it get?" I asked a questioning tone laced into my voice.

"A lot harder if you try taking the easy way out." He whispered, both staring out onto the horizon, pinks and oranges painted on the sky, giving a glimmer of hope yet a ray of sadness.

…

**3****rd**** person POV**

Once the sun had setted , the sky was dark and stars were twinkling people began to walk down to the beach. Everyone was going to let a lantern out into the air.

Everyone had and left, leaving Casey , Heath and Charlie, alone with some privacy.

Casey and Heath also lit there lanterns with a message on it and let them fly, once they did, they walked up to the Secluded Cliffs where they were going to spread Braxes, ashes and Charlie was going to let her lantern fly.

"Brax, I love you so much" she muttered, her and they boys spread Braxes ashes then she stood at the very edge, taking in the sight of the big moon and the stars sparkling in the sky. She let go of the lantern letting it fly into midair an orange glow lighted up the sky, flying with the words I LOVE YOU printed on it. A few tears rolled down Charlies cheeks as she looked up and her eyes followed the lantern.

**What did you all think, was it emotional or not? And do I need to improve on anything? Next chapter there's a few hints but nothing definite still writing that one.**

**Hope you enjoyed that , don't forget to review (51****st**** reviewer gets a sneek peek – if you have an account obviously) **

**Thank you JJ87 for reading this over I really appreciate it, thank you for the advice and also thank you to RoRo90 for your advice it was very helpful..**

**Enjoy reading**

**Bec xxx**


	9. feeling guilty

**Bonjour, I don't know why I said hi in French but oh well, thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, this is for all of you and 2 very special thank yous to Emilykylieparker for being my 51****st**** reviewer and thank you to guest for being my 50****th**** reviewer.**

**My 60****th**** reviewer gets a shoutout …**

**MY KEYBOARD OFFICALLY WORKS AGAIN!**

**To the guest who said this story is dumb without Brax in it, I'm sorry you think that, but your review still meant something to me… positively **

**JS- thank you for your review, I tried to not make this chapter to heavy ,but yeah I will try to add humor in later chapters, I need to portray this grief thing, which I love writing because I think its one of my strengths, but it does take it out of you.**

**Thank you to lazza77 as well. I would like to thank all my guest reviewers individually, but that's kind of hard since all your names are guest**

**You are all making this story happen … anyways in this chapter the cliffy from a while ago will be revealed though its not directly spoken its pretty obvious…**

**Enjoy…**

**SORRY FOR LONG A/N AGAIN.. **

**Chapter 9- feeling guilty**

**3****rd**** person POV**

Charlie just finished her 2nd six pack of red bull. Everyone was worried about Charlie; she gave them a pretty good reason to. You see Charlie, was like a fizzy drink, at times she fizzes up but if you get to close she goes flat.

Everything was still the same, her wedding dress was bloodshot red , hanging in a bag on her chocolate brown wardrobe, A photo of her and Brax , when they bought their house on the side table, the walls were a milk chocolate brown, the bed was still chocolate brown with light brown / goldish bedding. There were 3 abstract paintings on top of the bed hanging on the wall, circle beige lampshades with a silver lamp , there was a mirror next to the window that overlooked the beach , blues and turquoises making a spectacular view. Charlie, had forgotten to put the wedding album away, so it lay on the chest of drawers.

For an unknown reason she walked over to the chest of drawers and took the album in her hands and sat on the floor, it started off as photos of the groomsmen with Black suits and sky blue ties, Brax had the exact same but a black tie. Her gorgeous bridesmaids, Bianca, Martha, Hayley, Emma and Ruby were next wearing their blue floor length dresses big grins plastered across their faces. One of her favorites was the one of her and her dad. Charlie, paused at one of the photos, her eyes clouded over, it was one of many after the you may kiss the bride. A lingering tear rolled down her cheek and splashed on the photo, the radio was playing in the background and the one song Charlie , didn't need to hear started to play. The only song both her and Brax , loved the song and that's why they chose it for their wedding.

**Flashback…**

_The happy couple walked up to the dance floor, hand in hand. Charlies, arms snaked around Braxes, neck and braxes, arms wrapped around Charlies, waist. They were in their own world , all their problems forgotten , though once the music started and the lyrics of Adele's Make You Feel My Love poured through the speakers thy remembered everything they'd been through bringing everyone to tears finally seeing the towns Romeo and Juliet have their happy ending._

_**When the rain**_

_**Is blowing in your face**_

_**And the whole world**_

_**Is on your case**_

_**I could offer you**_

_**A warm embrace**_

_**To make you feel my love**_

_**When the evening shadows**_

_**And the stars appear**_

_**And there is no - one there**_

_**To dry your tears**_

_**I could hold you**_

_**For a million years**_

_**To make you feel my love**_

_**I know you**_

_**Haven't made**_

_**Your mind up yet**_

_**But I would never**_

_**Do you wrong**_

_**I've known it**_

_**From the moment**_

_**That we met**_

_**No doubt in my mind**_

_**Where you belong**_

_**I'd go hungry**_

_**I'd go black and blue and**_

_**I'd go crawling**_

_**Down the avenue**_

_**You Know there's nothing**_

_**That I wouldn't do**_

_**To make you feel my love**_

"_I love you so much" Brax , whispered in Charlies ear, their eyes locked and she gazed into his eyes. "I love you more" she whispered back. Brax tried to sing the next bit in a soft whisper but he was a terrible singer._

_**The storms are raging**_

_**On the rolling sea**_

_**And on the highway of regret**_

"_babe stop" she giggled and Brax flashed her the grin that made her heart melt. The music continued and the happy couple swayed slowly to the music, everyone watched in awe as they danced , a perfect day, a perfect couple, a perfect fit._

**End of flashback**

It was common sense to get up and dance, only this time she was dancing by herself, alone, with nothing but memories to keep her company. Unknown to her Bianca and Heath were watching her, their own grief overcoming them, tears springing to their eyes as they watched the once strong girl breakdown. Charlie's, knees buckled and she collapsed crying. Both Bianca and heath, knew they had to let her grieve her own way.

But Charlie felt as if the room was closing in on her, she was struggling to breath, looking around the room she couldn't stop it, nothing she did stopped the hurt, the pain, tearing her heart into shreds. She couldn't do it, she felt as if she was falling in a deep dark hole that she couldn't climb out of. Suffocating was the sort of feeling she was feeling, she needed air. Charlie ran out, she headed straight to the beach, the cold water splashed against her soaking her jeans. She sobbed, she let it all out. To any stranger she was just having a meltdown, but to anyone who was lucky enough to get close to Charlie, she was a young girl struggling , struggling without the love of her life , struggling with her grief , struggling with some news she didn't want to accept.

Heath and Bianca , saw her run out so they followed her, the rain sprayed onto them. Bianca's hair was sticking to her face and had become stringy, her converse was full of sand and water but that didn't matter. Once they got to the water, Heath picked her up and carried her to the dryer sand. Bianca pulled Charlie into her and let her cry, the appearance of her friend was something she'd never seen before, Charlie had always been so energetic and feisty, this side of her was different, a side they were seriously worried about. "What am I doing?" Charlie asked but no one had a reason, no answer.

….

Hayley's day was going slower than ever, she didn't want to be at work, but Heath was struggling so she offered to take over.

A pair of arms wrapped around her, she instantly knew it was Noah.

"Hey babe." He whispered in her ear then pecking at it, she let out girlish giggle.

"Hi" she giggled "Did you see Charlie?" Hayley asked.

"Nah, I called Heath, he said she had a bad breakdown" he sighed, Hayley started to tear up, "I miss him so much" she whispered and cuddled Noah.

Noah's eyes widened at who walked into the gym, Hayley noticed this and she too turned around, shocked . This was all beginning to look awfully similar to what happened when Elsie died; she hoped this isn't an action replay of that. Charlie had just walked in, black sport bra and leggings. Noah and Hayley, both knew she hadn't been sleeping and eating, the only thing she basically consumed was alcohol, but she looked fine, the bags under her eyes were bruise like and she was pale, though she was glowing, her hair had a glossy shine you rarely ever saw. Hayley's eyes widened, everything, every piece of the puzzle made sense.

She walked over to Charlie who had her earphones in her ears music blazing through them as she ran on the treadmill, Hayley tapped her shoulder, "Charlz" she whispered , Charlie took her earphones out and gave her a questioning look.

"Don't do this," she whispered

"What?" Charlie snapped,

"Charlz, this isn't healthy for you or…" Hayley said but was interrupted and Charlies head snapped up.

"Who, Hayley, who? " She snapped,

"I came here for a workout not to be interrogated by my best friend" she whispered harshly and left. Hayley let out a sigh and ran her hand over her forehead. Noah followed Charlie out.

…

"Charlie, Charlz wait up!" Noah yelled but Charlie was a very fast runner, Noah eventually catched up. He lightly tugged her arm making her aware that he was there.

"What?" she yelled giving him a very pointed look,

"What are you doing Charlz?" he whispered speaking the words Hayley was probly thinking but didn't want to say.

"I'm trying to move on, aren't we all?" she stated in an obvious tone,

"No, I'm not" he admitted, she gave him a confused look

"I'm not forcing myself to move on, grief takes time , why would I want to move on, it's to early ." He whispered Charlies eyes began to water,

"well everyone's different." She snapped

"Grieve your own way Charlz, but don't try move on when you can't!" he raised his voice slightly causing Charlie to flinch at the harshness in his tone.

"I'm not MOVING ON!" she yelled "I CANT MOVE ON!" she shook her head and pursed her lips in a bid to not look weak, "you just don't get it do you?" she questioned staring right into Noah's blue eyes,

"I'm alone, the one good thing that's ever happened to me was taken from me , by my past!" she half hissed and half whispered and strong pain was laced into her tone, you could feel she was in pain from a mile away. Noah looked at her sadness had covered his face and an understanding of loss moved over.

"Charlie"

His voice was laced with symphethy, Charlie hated people like this around her, she was still the same person, well that's what she wanted everyone to think, but she was nowhere as close as the person she used to be.

"No! You don't get to feel sorry for me, I deserve this, everything!" she exclaimed and began to walk away, wiping under her eyes to wipe away the tears.

"just, just leave me alone!"

…

She sat on a stool in Angelos , downing a few Tequila shots, much to the dislike of her friends and family, Charlie saw drinking to be a way to escape, but it just made things worse. Your head hurts when you wake up, Your hearts still active in sadness and when you open your eyes you expect your other half next to you but instead your hand falls flat on the cold side of your bed, reminding you of the reality.

She felt a guilty feeling arise in the pit of her stomach, what if it was positive, what if she was right, she didn't want to do this alone. Charlie couldn't do it, she needed to know.

…

Meanwhile Noah had made his way back to the gym.

"And you just let her go!" she hissed harshly not wanting to make a scene for Charlies sake.

"What'd you expect me to do , run after her when she clearly wanted to be left alone?" he hissed back, their faces nearly touching, their eyes had locked , ooh his eyes were mesmerizing, she shook out of her trance.

"Yes, yes you should have, you blithering idiot, shes vulnerable, she could've done anything!" she yelled finally letting her anger out , Hayley threw the gym towel to him and began to walk out,

"where are you going?" he asked ,already knowing the answered

"To go see where my Best friend is" she yelled back walking out leaving Noah in charge of the gym.

"great" he muttered, everyone was staring at him, "get back to your workouts" he waved them off.

…

She paced the room, It'd been 10 minutes but she couldn't look, this was never supposed to happen , Her life was never going to end up like this, Brax was her future, what future did she have without him?

Charlie probly didn't have any nails left , she bite her nails when she was nervous, she was more than nervous, she was scared.

She slowly walked over to the sink , taking a deep breath she shut her eyes and turned the object over , opening her eyes she let out a whimper and threw the object in the sink. She clutched her stomach and cried, where was Brax when she needed him most?

…

**30 minutes later**

There was a knock at the door, 'great, just what I needed' Charlie thought to herself, she wiped away the tear stains on her cheeks and threw the object in the drawer. She raced down the stairs making sure she had no tearstains left on her cheeks, no one could know about this until it was obvious.

Another knock rapped on the door "Alright, alright, I'll bring Halloween chocolates with me while I'm at it" she exclaimed sarcastically, Charlie opened the door to an angry looking Hayley, her hand was placed on her hip and her eye brows were raised,typicall Hayley.

"What took you so long?" she asked sternily, she was such a maternal person

"I was in the loo" was Charlies reply, sadly Hayley knew her to well and Charlies reply was very quick, to quick.

"What were you really doing?" she asked, her voice a little softer, as she saw her best friends slumped composure, Charlie shrugged her shoulders and tears began to brim her eyes, she wanted to so badly forget what she'd just found out.

"Hey what's wrong?" she asked her once again, tears spilt out of her eyes,

"I don't know what I've done wrong haylz." She chocked out, a hard lump formed in her throat, she tried to swallow past it but, it was useless.

"Is this my punishment for everything I've done, my consequence for protecting those I love, friends, family?"

she recited her thoughts from a few days back. Hayley moved them to the couch and sat them down.

"Honey, this isn't your fault." She whispered and rubbed her back,

"yes it is" It wasn't until then Hayley realized Charlie was sobbing.

…

She continued to rub Charlies back until she slipped into oblivion, her breaths had deepened and her eyes closed, her chocolate brown locks fell on Hayleys lap.

"good night baby girl" she whispered.

…

_**3**__**rd**__** person POV – three years prior**_

_Charlie and Brax were jogging on the beach, Brax as usual struggling to keep up, laughing at old stories of each other's childhood._

"_so your telling me in grade 4 some bully punched you, Mr. tough guy, in the face and your braces fell out" she chuckled and Brax just continued to jog, a rosy pink blush spread along his cheeks. She noticed this and turned so she was running in front of him, backwards might I add._

"_your blushing!" she giggled he shook his head_

"_you always blush." Her voice was like an angels, her giggle made him want her more._

"_no I do not!" she spoke adamantly. He nodded his head and plastered a sly grin on his face, showing her his dimples._

"_if you say so boss" he replied._

_Out of nowhere Charlie squealed and fell backwards landing on the soft sand , taking Brax with her, landing on her._

_She looked down at her lips and grazed her tongue over her bottom lip then looked up at Brax, his green eyes pierced through her, they stared immensely at each other, tension was growing in between them and a magnet was slowly bringing them closer. They didn't realize how close they were to each other until they could feel each other's breath on themselves._

_Braxes breathing was ragged, his heart was beating against his chest, he thought Charlie could probly hear it. This girl was beautiful, the more he stared at her the more mesmerized he got._ _Staring down at her lips Brax smiled as he brought his head forward his lips lightly grazing hers, then lifting his head up to see if she approved , a smile spread across her face and he was pretty sure he had one on to, their lips crashed together, they both smiled into the kiss._

_The butterfly's in Charlies stomach fluttered picking up aggressively as they embraced in a passionate kiss. She leant in towards him, yielding to the soft strength of his kiss, that engulfed her, gaining in strength until she found herself wrapped up in him._

_Pulling away from the kiss Brax leant his forehead against Charlies, "I really, really like you Lottie." He whispered his voice low and husky,_

"_I really, really like you to." She whispered back, everything was going right ._

Charlie jumped up, like she would after a nightmare, this wasn't a nightmare, it felt so real , she felt his lips on hers, his eyes piercing through hers, and the passion in the kiss, it had to be real. Tears ran down her cheeks leaving tearstains printed on her cheeks.

…

"Bianca" A voice asked ,Bianca turned around to see Gina following her, "hi Gina, how can I help you?" Bianca asked, she knew it was bad but she didn't want to go home.

"I was wondering if you were free to take my science class, there's an emergency at home and I have nobody to cover, I completely understand if you say no" she finished, Bianca nodded .

"I need something to keep me busy, of course I'll do it" Bianca said.

"oh thank you Bianca." She exclaimed and ran off

…

"GREAT!" Heath exclaimed sitting next to Drew and Emma on the sofa, beer in hand, they looked at him expectantly, "year 9's."

They nodded in understanding, ever since the funeral Bianca had also tried to keep her busy and that for her was teaching, though everyone noticed this.

"Movie?" Emma asked the boys nodded and all three of them spoke at the same time, "evil dead" then let out a laugh.

…

Charlie walked up to the secluded cliffs, cheeks tearstained and dry, a lump in her throat that wouldn't subside, her head hurt and her heart ached with longing, she needed Brax. She sat down, and let a lingering tear fall, she couldn't tell if it was a tear or the coldness of the wind blowing her way.

"I need your help Brax, everything's so messed up." She muttered.

"I need your love to survive."

**How was that? I found that chapter easier to write, I don't know why. You probly realized but I'm trying to add all the characters in, though I can't do that in one chapter unless there all together which will happen soon.**

**I'm pretty sure all of you know the rest of the pondering I THINK in chapter 5. **

**Now this is where I need you's help, now that I know lots of you know what going to happen in the next I don't know how many more chapters, I need suggestions. What do you want to happen?**

**Oh I didn't read it through and through, just read over it slightly and made changes to obvious.**

**Thank you to all those read that chapter , whether you reviewed or not, and a very big thank you to those who did review. Please review…**

**Enjoy, bec xxx**


	10. everyone feels pain some more than other

**Oh boy, feels like forever since I last updated when it was like 3 weeks ago, before my holidays begun, well on Saturday my laptop got a virus and I didn't know, I shut it down and on Sunday when I opened it ,my laptop wouldn't let me into my profile, it was DEAD! Then on Monday my dad fixed it but it was on life support, now it's been discharged, thank god for that!**

**Anyways like promised my 60****th**** reviewer gets a shout out , anyways I'm pretty sure all of you know her, thank you RoRo90 you were my 60****th**** reviewer and to have you reading my story is just so exciting so thank you ,if you haven't already checkout her story's ,they are amazing!**

**I was in a rush so I didn't proof read it xxx**

** guest , yer I should know how to control myself with A/N but I cant help it lol**

** Emilykylieparker ,love your theory, I have a feeling you'll be shocked at what I have planned, it's a big twist that will not be revealed for a very long time… (he he)**

**I'm having Brax withdrawal symptoms **

**Bec xx**

Everyone will someday lose everything they have ever loved or cared for. That's the truth of life itself ... But our grief is not simply about losing a loved one or facing our own mortality. Whether it's losing a job, a marriage, a dream, or our youth, we all have had our hearts broken. Each of has lost our innocence, and made mistakes, and done harm and been harmed along the way. We all have with our individual stories of the when, where, how, what, and who of our heartbreaks.. Each of our stories is tenderly unique and yet all of us have a story ... grief is the human condition; the tie that binds us all together

**Charlies POV…**

Ok,I definitely don't recommend sleeping on the cliffs, though somehow when im there I feel closer to Brax, even standing there I feel a sense of protection. I walked through the door and was greeted by a sight a least expected, my Dad turned around with a slight smile on his face, my eyes filled with tears and I ran towards him, he engulfed me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry sweetie, I should've been here for you" he whispered in my ear, my breathing was ragged

"you couldn't , I understand" I mumbled into his shoulder

"That's no excuse" he replied back, I began to cry heavily, dark tramlines made their way down my cheeks and I sobbed, my dad rubbed my back lightly like he did when I was little girl, knowing my dad was safe and alive bought me more comfort than ever. I don't know how but my knees buckled and I collapsed onto the floor taking my dad with me.

**Ross POV…**

When I got the phone call telling me Brax had passed was so upset that I couldn't be there for my little girl, now im angry at myself seeing my daughter in such a state kills me, I'm angry I couldn't be here for my daughter during the hardest time of her life. Out of nowhere she collapsed taking me with her, I felt her salty tears burning through my t-shirt. All I could do was comfort her and keep repeating 'it's going to be ok' though me myself didn't know if it was going to be ok.

"I can't do this daddy." She chocked out through her river of tears

"Yes you can sweetie".

**3****rd**** person Pov..**

**Four hours later…**

In any other situation you wouldn't care if Charlie Braxton wasn't in her room, but in her current state you would be.

Heath knocked on her bedroom door and there was no answer, not that you'd be expecting one anyway. As always the room was locked, luckily for Heath he learnt how to pick a lock which he used as a benefit when it came to annoying Brax.

He walked into Charlie and Brax's room , and was shocked , it was clean , you imagine a hotel room when you first arrive, that is what the room looked like, it was as if she was expecting Brax to come home even though he couldn't, he wasn't aloud.

He walked over to her bed only to find an unsent letter to a one Grant bledcoe. Even though it wasn't for him to read and it probly wasn't right he had to ,out of worry and out of curiosity, Charlie didn't express her feelings with talking, most of the time she wrote her feelings in a story, and they were strong emotions, the letter written in black ink was smudged, but you could still make out the words written.

_Dear Grant Evil Bledcoe,_

_You finally got what you wanted ,for me to suffer_ ? _to feel pain? I have no idea what I've done when it was all you, but honestly I don't care…_

_Now I've lost the love of my life before our life together even begun, I didn't know this was possible but the hate I have for you has increased more than you can imagine._

_I HATE YOU! I feel no pity for you, all I feel is hate and anger. Every time i see you I want to rip that smug smile off your face ,but I don't want to ruin my life for scum like you, though sadly you've bet me to that and already ruined my LIFE!_

_I hope one day we meet again and I can ruin your life and I wont do half the job ,I plan on KILLING you ,though I pray to god that someone finds you and kills you before i do!_

_Charlie…_

**Heath pov…**

I would gladly send this letter to Grant but I couldn't for Charlies sake knowing that Grant would use this as a way to hurt Charlie more.

**Charlie POV**

Everyday seems to go by at an excruciating slow pace, each second feels like a day and every hour feels like I've spent days trying to climb to the top of Mount Everest only to fail and go back to square one, the beginning , the hospital room everything was a constant memory of what I couldn't have, what was taken from me.

By now I was already drunk, though I still felt my chest ache in pain , each breath I take I struggle, because every breath I take is another second without Brax.

Everyone who saw me passed me a sympathetic smile or said sorry and hoped that I was OK, how can I be Ok , I've lost the love of my life why cant people understand that?

I walked down the beach path, crumbling sand seeped into my sandals causing me to shake them out again. I was stopped by a bone chilling laughter, I knew exactly who it was, Joshua Bledcoe, EVIL, that's what that family is evil.

"Hello Lottie"

He cooed in a crazy tone, I wouldn't be surprised if that was his real tone , the family is crazy ,I know this first hand.

Something inside me snapped, only Brax called me Lottie, I don't know what but a bubble of rage that was just building up popped, I turned around and punched him square in the face causing him to stagger backwards not expecting it, once he gained his balance I punched him again causing him to lose all sorts of balance and fall onto his back, it felt good taking all my anger out on someone I hated the only problem was at this point more anger was building up, I didn't really care if I ended up with a murder charge…

I crawled over him and punched him repeatedly , each punch stronger than the other, I had both his and mine blood trickling down my knuckles , weird thing was he let me punch him , without me noticing he grabbed my top and pulled me up slamming me into the fence, my first instinct was to knee him, I lifted my knee up but he was clearly expecting it and pushed my knee own with full force causing m to yelp in pain.

**3****rd**** person pov**

He pursed his lips and raised his hand back. He threw his hand forward as hard as he could, whipping it across her face. The crack of skin contacting skin echoed through the air. Vibrations of pain started in his palm and spread all the way to his fingertips. His palm was bright red, the same red mark that matched the one on her face. She stared at him with her eyes wide as her hand slowly made it to her fire red cheek.

She wasn't going to let him win, she shook off the stinging sensation burning through her skin ricocheting through her body, she fought back and punched him hard in the stomach.

**Joshua POV**

I saw it coming, but it caught me off guard. I felt a balled fist make contact with my muscle, watching it smash my entrails together like a rogue freight train. I felt blood vessels burst and my diaphragm collapse under the force the fist packed behind it. Oddly enough, the fist continued to thrust upward until my liver and stomach stopped her knuckles from clashing into my spine. My breath instantly left me for dead as I doubled over. My knees buckled from the force of the blow, and as I went down, I swear I heard a cracking noise ricochet between my ribs. Fire ran through every fiber of my abdomen, and I tasted bile, adrenaline and a hint of blood.

How did she do it? I was a fully grown man yet a 55kg girl can knock me out with a few punches, well more than a few. Someone must've seen us fight and call the police, 8 male officers came running towards us obviously they knew the strength of this girl because it took 6 of them to pull her off me.

My crumpled body hit the ground, I gasped for air, but oxygen eluded my grasp. My head was swimming as my organs regained their original volume: going from a pancake like mass to their original life-saving state. I somehow managed to roll over and vomit. I silently thanked a higher being that my stomach hadn't come up with the yellow, sticky substance and my dinner. Helpless as a newborn, injured and out of energy, I swear I saw the life pour out of me.

**3****rd**** person POV**

**2 hours later**

Charlie got away with a split lip ,blood nose, bruises and a few stiches , whilst Joshua wasn't so lucky he had 3 broken ribs, lots of bruises, split lip ,blood nose, he somehow managed a fractured wrist and was having an operation to fix the slight internal bleeding. Though Charlie wasn't being charged because Joshua didn't want to press charges, If he did Charlie would've been charged with Assault occasioning actual bodily harm, GBH, assault and a few other bits and pieces though she was getting a $600 fine.

Charlie was standing at the front desk talking to Jack who would've called Heath , she was blind drunk and had clearly forgotten she'd just beat a guy to the point of internal bleeding .

"Jack" the voice of Heath banged through the doors of the police station, she gave a drunk smile and slurred,

"hay babe" it was then Heath noticed she was absolutely smashed to the point she was delusional, he wacked her over the head causing Charlie to wince in pain.

"You idiot" he exclaimed

"why am I the idiot ,it's the drink", she stupidly slurred and walked out, Heath gave Jack the six hundred dollars for the fine and followed Charlie out who was still trying to make her way around and find the car. two minutes into the drive and she'd already passed out.

**Biancas POV**

I watched my husband carry my best friend to her room. I shook my head at the bruised and drunken state she was in and tears began to mist with glistening tears, I couldn't imagine losing Heath and I hadn't really lost anyone close to me so I couldn't relate to her and tell her she would get out of this alive because none of us knew if she was. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt Heaths thumb wipe my tears away, I turned into his chest and cried ,my salty tears burned through his muscle tank and I let out all my emotions.

**Heaths POV**

I missed my family, the old days where we would get drunk for fun , not to numb the pain, where we'd play pranks and go camping or play truth or dare usually ending up in someone doing a nude run most of the time Charlie and Brax. The one question in my mind is how one man caused my family so much pain?

**Charlie POV**

I don't remember a thing that happened last night, I woke up to a banging headache and mouth tasted foul , though I'd kind of gotten used to it so now it didn't affect me as bad. I mean I can't say I'm never drinking again because I know that's never going to happen. My body ached in pain as I got out of bed and I had a horrible stomach cramp. Suddenly a wave of nausea overcame me, my hand imeadiantly flew to my mouth and I ran to the bathroom wishing that someone left the toilet seat up. Reality began to hit ,I wasn't throwing up because of the alcohol I drunk I was throwing up because of reality, reality was hitting and there was nothing I could do.

Once I stopped feeling like I needed to hurl I looked in the mirror and honestly I nearly screamed. When did this happen? I had a black eye, split lip, a dash on my nose and a big bruise on my cheek. JESUS.

When downstairs I made myself a very strong headache and took an aspirin ,I heard a gasp behind me so I turned around to see a shocked Ruby behind me.

"How'd I manage this?" I asked her but that's not what she was paying attention to ,I just prayed that I hadn't gained any weight.

"How much weight have you lost?" she asked me astonished, even I was confused ,I knew I was skinny but never this skinny. I left my coffee on the table and ran upstairs imeadiantly weighing myself ,im usually 55kg , yes im petite and yes im not unhealthy, why am i now 51kg? I'm supposed to gain weight not lose it, something was wrong but I didn't want to know what it was just in case I was told what I didn't want to hear, The truth…

Once in my bedroom I locked the door, my room gave me somewhere I could grieve without people telling me my way is wrong. I leant my forehead on the door an exhaled, all I wanted was to be back on the roof all those weeks ago lighting fireworks when me and Brax got our own house as a good luck. I turned around to sit on my bed but I was confronted by Brax causing me to jump.

"don't do that" I sneered

"do what?" he asked me confused , I cocked my head to the side like I would when I stated the obvious

"just turn up like that." I stated in a warning tone

"You never used to complain"

"Yeah ,I never USED to, I've changed Brax , im not the same girl I used to be" I put an emphasize on the word used , Brax exhaled deeply

"What happened to that girl?" he asked me , I shook my head and gave him a pointed look

"I have no idea ,but when you find out let me know." I know it was a lame attempt of a sarcastic reply but working on new comebacks wasn't on my priority's list.

"Lottie" he began but I stopped him, anyone calling me Lottie bought more pain than you could imagine.

"No do you really want to know what happened to that girl?" I asked him directly looking into his green eyes that pierced through me.

**3****rd**** person POV**

He gave Charlie no reply so she continued on like she never stopped

"She lost her husband, she realized her life wasn't gonna get better, her thinking was all stereotypical" Charlie ended darkly but Brax, just shook his head

"You have a future Lottie ,one day you'll be happy , you'll get married maybe a few kids.." At those words charlie shook her head in dismay at his words, she didn't want to think like that

'No! do you think that low of me? That aint gonna happen, im not going to have more kids with someone who isn't you!" She imeadiantly knew where this conversation was going and she didn't want it to head that way

"Yeah Charlie how are you going to manage that?" he spat and nodded to her stomach, her eyes glazed over ,the last time he called her Charlie was when they broke up

"THIS WAS NEVER PART OF THE PLAN!" she snapped, pointing her hands at her stomach and glaring at him painfully, her eyes red and puffy and her voice breaking to pieces as she spoke, Brax nodded his head slightly

"You've been given a gift Lottie ,take it because you never know what could happen to take it all away." He hissed and she once again stared in his eyes, h was angry , charlie was mesmerized in the moment until she heard those words

"Is this some sort of hint?" she hissed but she never got an answer because Brax disappeared and she was left dumbfounded.

….

**Next day – standing on the beach **

The blazing sun beats down on the smooth, weathered rocks of the cliff side. The crisp seaweed pushed onto the rocks by the waves, lay baking at the sea's edge, occasionally moving with the tide. The clear blue sea's waves rattle the tiny pebbles embedded in the golden sand. The foam from the waves cover a small child's forgotten sandcastle, bringing it down with a dull crash. The high tide pushes back the crowd of people to the beach's edge. The gulls, happy with their find, soar above the crowd, and land in the sea to enjoy their lunch. Shoals of colorful fish dart around beneath them, frightened by the intrusion. They swim off to the boats and ships bobbing on the horizon, where the sea and the sky merge into one clear sheet of blue.

She stood on the beach thinking, the weather was warm an everyone was out with family's enjoying the autumn heat. Someone called her name from behind ,she turned around to see Martha walking upto her.

"Thought you'd be surfing" she commented and stood next to her

"Not too keen on surfing today." Was her reply

"What happened last night?" she asked her and Charlie began to get agitated,

"Look I'm not stupid, I know Ruby or Bianca sent you to check on me" Charlie snapped

"They didn't" she replied coolly

"Your one of my best friends, I know when your lying" she commented ,this conversation was beginning to get awkward

"Fine they did, but they only want to know if your OK" She admitted and Charlie began to walk away, she ran after her and tugged against her arm causing Charlie to turn around,

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA MARTHA! Everyday is a fighting battle, in the morning you wake up and the first thing you do is turn over and expect your other half to be there , when you think of them you smile and you get a bubbly feeling in your stomach thinking you get another day with your love, but then your hand falls onto the bed, the other side of your bed is cold and hasn't been slept in, not a living soul, your heart sinks as you begin to remember their gone, You get so angry when people say they know what you're going through , when they have no idea , BRAX WAS MURDERED!" she half hissed and half yelled tears springing to her eyes ,pain laced through her voice. She began to walk away.

…

**Charlies POV**

Bianca had invited the Clan over for dinner, not that I minded, though everyone was probly wondering what caused my personality relapse.

We sat in silence as we ate, every once in a while people would glance at me surprised that I was eating, honestly I was forcing it down but I had to let people know i was OK so they would leave me alone and let me grieve.

"Who wants Vodka?" I asked the table an went an got the shot cups from the kitchen,

"Yer Ok" Heath said reluctantly

"Me too" Hayley answred

"Me three" Drew added and everyone looked at the trio

"And the wolf blew the house down with a huff and a puff and if all fell down." I commented and everyone chuckled

…

**3****rd**** person POV**

Bianca and Noah were the only people decent , most were sober and Charlie and Heath were well on their way to being drunk.

"Lets put the radio on" Charlie suggested through her fits of laughter an walked to the radio

"OOooo I love this song" she giggled , Drew nodded to Bianca who had the remote to the radio an Brax and Charlies wedding song came on causing Charlie to stop and look at Bianca, her face crumbled and anger consumed her, she flung the bottle of vodka causing it to smash onto the wall and everyone winced,

"CHANGE IT!" Charlie yelled

"CHANGE IT!" she once again yelled but Bianca didn't change it so she ran forward and attempted to grab the remote, Drew moved forward and stabbed the syringe into Charlies arm, Noah moved forward and caught her as her body went limp engulfing her in his arms.

"Why'd you do that?" Casey asked

"Because if I hadn't she'd collapse and end up in hospital with alcohol poisoning" he informed them and followed Noah into Charlies room.

…

10 minutes passed and drew walked out carrying a large tub full of empty bottles and cans,

"Whats that?" Emma asked

"Its all the alcohol Charlies had ,she wouldn't chuck it out because we'd find it, she's gone off the rails, something's not right" Drew finished

**How was that chapter?**

**An update for irreversible is coming, Drew is a doctor, but isn't doctor like if you get my drift…**

**I know that chapter was abit deep and so is the next 2 but hopefully I can soon fix that…**

**Anyways plz review**

**Bec xxx**


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